That '70s Show (TV Series)

Baby Don't You Do It (2004)

Danny Masterson: Steven Hyde

Quotes 

• Jackie Burkhart : [Kelso arrives after his day at the Police Academy]  Michael, you got another 'D' on a test? Isn't this your fourth 'D' in a row?

  Michael Kelso : Yeah. It's just on the Penal Code stuff. "Criminals have the right to an attorney, criminals are innocent until proven guilty". Just crazy liberal gibberish.

  Steven Hyde : [to Fez]  What are you laughin' at?

  Fez : He said 'Penal Code'.

  Jackie Burkhart : Fez, it doesn't mean that. It's from the word 'penalty'. 'Penal'.

  Steven Hyde : [Fez can't control his giggling]  You're like a four-year-old. It's a legal term: 'Penal'.

  Steven Hyde : [now Hyde is laughing, too]  It's kinda funny.

  Brooke : [Brooke comes in]  Hey, guys. Hey, Michael, how'd your Penal Code test go?

  Michael Kelso : [Hyde and Fez can't control their laughter as Kelso lies to impress Brooke]  I did great. I got another 'B'.

  Brooke : Oh, that's your fourth 'B' in a row! I'm so proud of you! Can I see it?

  Michael Kelso : [suddenly on the spot]  Uh... uh, you could, but, uh, I didn't write anything down, 'cause the test was, uh, oral.

  Steven Hyde : [bursting with laughter]  Oral test on the Penal Code!

• [Red, Kitty and Bob are furious at Eric and Donna for lying to the pastor that they are virgins] 

  Kitty Forman : [sarcastically]  Oh, look! It's Eric and Donna! Did everyone know they're virgins?

  [awkward silence. Hyde looks funnily at Eric and Donna] 

  Kitty Forman : I think I wanna be a virgin too. Hey, everyone! I'm a virgin! Ha-ha-ha! Well, I said that, so it must be true.

  Eric Forman : OK, I know this seems really bad, but I've got a really simple way to fix that: just start going to a different church. Hey, how about that one where they sing more and let you marry, like, six people?

  Steven Hyde : Hey, Red, tell me the story about how Eric and Donna had to stand up in front of the whole church and pretend to be virgins.

  Reginald "Red" Forman : [angrily]  Once upon a time, two dumbasses went to church and brought shame upon their entire family, and their father had to hear about it the whole damn car ride home!

  Steven Hyde : That's a great story. It's scary, but it's funny, too.