That '70s Show (TV Series)

Burning Down the House (2000)

Ashton Kutcher: Michael Kelso

Photos 

Quotes 

• Michael Kelso : Man, I wish Jackie would loosen up. She's throwing a great party down here and she's missing it!

  Fez : Kelso, you don't get it, huh? This party meant the world to Jackie, and you crapped on it.

  Steven Hyde : Alright, ease up on Kelso, huh?

  Michael Kelso : Thanks, Hyde.

  Steven Hyde : [sarcastically]  Yeah, so you did something horrible. But, it's Jackie, so who cares?

  Michael Kelso : No, wait. What are you saying?

  Steven Hyde : I'm saying you burned her, man. Royally. Nice job!

  Michael Kelso : But, no, man! I didn't want to burn her! I invited all these people to her party so it would be fun! To make it good!

  Fez : She didn't want a good party. She wanted *her* party.

  Michael Kelso : You know what? You're right, Fez. Alright, this party's over! Everybody out!

  Eric Forman : No, Kelso! What are you saying, man? Think!

  Michael Kelso : You know what, guys? For the first time in my life, I think I am thinking!

  [Kelso throws his lit cigar in the trashcan] 

  Michael Kelso : You know, I'm in danger of ruining the greatest thing that's ever happened to me and I am not going to let that happen.

  [Eric, Hyde and Fez bend forward to look at the trash can erupting into flames] 

  Steven Hyde : Kelso...

  Michael Kelso : Do not interrupt me, this is important! From now on, I'm going to put Jackie's needs first and she's going to be *so* proud of me!

  [Hyde points to the trash can. Kelso finally notices the fire] 

  Michael Kelso : Whoa!

  [Kelso foolishly pours his brandy on the fire in an attempt to put it out. Naturally, the alcoholic drink nourishes the fire] 

  Michael Kelso : Whoa, man! This is a rager! Give me your brandies!

  [Kelso grabs their glasses and pours more brandy on the fire] 

  Michael Kelso : Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

• [Jackie and Donna walk down the hallway, toward the party, unaware of the fire Kelso started] 

  Jackie Burkhart : God, how dare you say that about me and Michael?

  Donna Pinciotti : Jackie, you wanted my honest opinion.

  Jackie Burkhart : Your honest opinion that we're great together! Look, you were wrong about Michael. He knows he made a mistake and he's going to make it up to me. You wait and see.

  [In Jackie's living room, "Disco Inferno" plays. Smoke fills the room, and Kelso tries unsuccessfully to put out the fire with a pillow. Jackie and Donna enter] 

  Michael Kelso : Uh, Jackie, where's the fire extinguisher?

  [Jackie is shocked to see the mess Kelso made in her house. Kelso starts blowing on the fire in futile attempt to put it out] 

• Jackie Burkhart : Michael, why did you do this?

  Michael Kelso : Because I thought that if a party with ten people was fun, then a party with thirty people would be twice as fun!

• Jackie Burkhart : Hyde? Fez? Michael!

  Michael Kelso : Oh, good! It's Hyde, Fez and Michael!

• Jackie Burkhart : [Viewing Hyde and Fez with dismay]  Michael, are they drinking from my parents' crystal?

  Michael Kelso : Yeah! Because they were trying to drink straight from the bottle! But I said, "No! Use the crystal, 'cause it's *classy*!"