- Red: It's good to know that the National Guard was getting a good night's sleep while I was in the South Pacific, dodging bullets and using coral for toilet paper!
- Red: You want to borrow our shower?
- Donna Pinciotti: Jackie used up all our hot water bathing her dolls.
- Joanne Stupac: Normally, I'd rather hose off on the driveway than ask you for a favor, but I'm afraid Bob would act out one of his carwash fantasies.
- Bob Pinciotti: [with a big grin at her] You got me there!
- Eric Forman: What HAPPENED between you two?
- Fez: It involves a half-off sale and a pair of pants that made my ass look like an oil painting!
- Clerk: If you mean old and cracked, I agree!
- Fez: I'll see you in Hell!
- Clerk: I'll be wearing your pants!
- [Staring each other down]
- Eric Forman: I'm, uh, I'm feeling kind of in the way here, so I'm gonna... I'm just gonna...
- [Scurries away]
- Red: [seeing Eric with $3.00 in his hand] Why do you have money? What did you do, mug a Girl Scout?
- [taps Hyde on the arm]
- Eric Forman: [defiantly] No, I've been selling some of my albums.
- Kitty Forman: Aw, I hope you didn't sell that "Froggy Goes a-Courtin" record!
- Eric Forman: Fenton, at the jewelry store, said that some "pretty little number" came by and paid for...
- [struck by a thought, turns to Kitty]
- Eric Forman: Oh, my God! Mom, *you're* the pretty little number!
- Kitty Forman: [snorting contented laughter] Well, I *do* like hearing that
- [turns to glare at Red]
- Kitty Forman: ONCE IN A WHILE!