- Eric: You know, this whole marriage thing has made me think: why am I in such a hurry to grow up? You know, life is like a train. It's bearing down on you, and guess what? It's gonna hit you! So, you can either start running when it's far off in the distance, or you can pull up a chair, crack open a beer, and just watch it come!
- Kelso: I did that once.
- Eric: No, Kelso. Not a real train. A metaphorical one.
- Kelso: Like a... like a ghost train?
- [Eric stares at Kelso for a moment]
- Eric: Yes. A ghost train.
- Eric: Okay! I'm here to earn my dinner! What am I gonna do about Donna?... We're hanging out! What am I gonna do about my job?... I quit! What am I gonna do about my future?... Nothing! When am I moving out?... Make me!
- Kitty Forman: Red, he's so skinny. Just take away his car.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: No! I'm trying to teach the boy responsibility. I want a plan out of you by tonight, or no dinner, either.
- Eric: Dad, that's not... Wait. Mom, what's for dinner?
- Kitty Forman: Fried chicken.
- Eric: Oh, come on!
- Reginald "Red" Forman: [as Hyde enters the kitchen and sits at the table] Steven. When are you moving out?
- Steven Hyde: Soon.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: How's your girlfriend?
- Steven Hyde: Shallow as hell.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Job?
- Steven Hyde: Dead-end.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Future?
- Steven Hyde: Bleak.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Kitty, feed the boy!
- Eric: [Sits down at table and serves himself breakfast, whistling nonchalantly; becomes aware that his parents are staring at him] What?
- Reginald "Red" Forman: You know, I've started to notice something about you: YOU'RE STILL HERE!
- Kitty Forman: Honey, what your father means is that you haven't seemed like yourself since you cancelled the wedding.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: No I don't - I mean, GET OUT!
- Steven Hyde: Eric, your whole year-off plan is lazy, it's selfish, it's gonna piss a lot of people off. So, good job!
- Kelso: I'm gonna throw an M&M into the woods and wherever it lands, we look there first.
- Steven Hyde: Fez, give him the candy.
- Fez: [looking guilty] Yeah, about that...
- Kelso: Okay. Instead of candy, I'm gonna throw my keys into the woods.
- [throws keys]
- Kelso: Oh, crap, I just threw my keys into the woods!
- Kelso: Wait a minute, I'm a police officer in training, so we're gonna do this by the book!
- Jackie Burkhart: [Scoffing] What book? You didn't READ any book!
- Kelso: No, but I was ASSIGNED one! And I've killed four bees with it!
- Kelso: Anybody find my keys?
- Eric: I found a pair of my sister's panties.
- [the others stare at him]
- Eric: I know they were hers because they had her name... and phone number written on them.
- Steven Hyde: A girl's gotta advertise.
- Kitty Forman: Bob has to choose one woman, and you have to tell him!
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Well, the choice is obvious - it's Pam.
- Kitty Forman: Red, it's not your choice to make, it's Bob's, and he has to choose Midge!
- Reginald "Red" Forman: But Pam is so tan!