- Inspector Raymond C. Fowler: Now, the Metropolitan force will police the Chelsea crowd, and a gang of nasty, ill-mannered yobs they're likely to be.
- Const. Maggie Habib: I think you're being prejudiced, sir, most supporters are genuine fans.
- Inspector Raymond C. Fowler: I wasn't talking about the fans, Habib, I was talking about the Metropolitan Police.
- Const. Frank Gladstone: I could not tell you why all the women I have ever loved say to me "I've got a fat bottom!", and when I say "Yes, I like it!", they throw the dinner at me!
- Detective Inspector Derek Grim: Well, explain this then. What is it about the inability of women to get out of the house?
- Detective Inspector Derek Grim: I say, "Tina, we are leaving at 7:30... That's 7:30, not a quarter to 8:00, not next year, not in another lifetime when we've come back as a couple of insects which only live for a day- which she'd spend in the bathroom; putting mascara on her antennae, trying to stick 300 contact lenses into her multiple eyes; lipstick in her spiracles; and blonding her follicles.
- Detective Inspector Derek Grim: I shout, "come on, Tina!" She says, "I've got to put my face on, haven't I?"
- Detective Inspector Derek Grim: I say, "right.I'm waiting in the car.She says, "wait in the car."
- Detective Inspector Derek Grim: I say, "I will wait in the car." she says, "right, go wait in the car."
- Detective Inspector Derek Grim: I say, "I'm going out to the car." She says, "you go to the car."
- Detective Inspector Derek Grim: It grinds you down!