Titus (TV Series)
Three Strikes (2001)
David Shatraw: Tommy Shafter
Quotes
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Tommy Shafter : Titus, if I die, please get the porn from under my bed before my mom cleans out my room. And also, if you look at it, keep an open mind.
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Christopher Titus : We find this guy, we tie the top half of him to your car, bottom half to my car, we both hit the gas and make a wish.
Tommy Shafter : It's always been a dream of mine just to tear a criminal in half...
[he strains to tear a magazine in half; putting it down, he lets out his high-pitched war cry instead]
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Christopher Titus : What happened?
Erin Fitzpatrick : Well, we came home, it was dark, there was a guy inside, I chased him, I fell, Tommy screamed, he-he ran.. the guy ran out into the kitchen, Tommy screamed again.
Tommy Shafter : A couple of high-pitched war cries.
[demonstrating]
Christopher Titus : Okay, where is this guy, huh? Huh? I wanna see the guy that...
[whimpering]
Christopher Titus : ...broke into our house and hurt you. I want him dead! I want his family dead!
Tommy Shafter : Titus!
Christopher Titus : Dead! I'm gonna find him and I'm gonna kill him dead!
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Tommy Shafter : I am not letting you in until you calm down.
Christopher Titus : [trying to be calm] Okay, what happened?
Tommy Shafter : [into the phone] Hello, 911? There's been a robbery.
Christopher Titus : 911?
Tommy Shafter : Don't panic.
Christopher Titus : [stammering] Uh, d-d-d-d... Robbery? Where's Erin? What happened?
Tommy Shafter : We need an ambulance. Her leg is broken.
Christopher Titus : Ambulance?
Tommy Shafter : Don't panic.
Christopher Titus : D-d-d... Erin, what happened?
Tommy Shafter : Don't panic. Erin panicked, and look what happened.
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Christopher Titus : Tommy?
Tommy Shafter : Yeah.
Christopher Titus : Hold his wrist like this. Now, that's eight pounds of pressure, right? At twelve pounds, his wrist will break.
Tommy Shafter : Okay.
Christopher Titus : Of course, at six pounds, he'll get loose and kill you.
Michael : Yeah, you like holding hands with men, don't you?
Tommy Shafter : [applying pressure to Michael's wrist] Yeah!