Bobcat Goldthwait: Mr. Floppy

Quotes 

• Jack Malloy : [strenuously working out]  I'll be ready when the call comes.

  [bends over, athletically touches toes] 

  Mr. Floppy : Are you expecting to be chosen as the next member of The Village People? Cause you better just hold that pose, Jack.

  Jack Malloy : You don't get it. I'm on the team!

  Mr. Floppy : Is *that* what they're calling it these days?

  Jack Malloy : I'm on the *basketball* team, Floppy, I finally made it. And I'm taking Peggy Ryan up to Inspiration Point.

  Mr. Floppy : Then you better hope Inspiration Point is made out of solid granite. Peggy Ryan weighs about eight hundred pounds.

  Jack Malloy : How do you know?

  Mr. Floppy : Well, she's forty, isn't she? You do know you're not on the basketball team, don't you?

  Jack Malloy : Yeah. Yeah, I know. Just for one little moment I wanted to believe that I... was still young and life still had possibilities for me.

  Mr. Floppy : A dream you share with Michael Douglas.

  Jack Malloy : It's kinda hard dealing with the fact that my life is over and... nothing means anything anymore.

  Mr. Floppy : You're not gonna whip out the Kool-Aid, are you, Jack? Come on, don't get down, little Bright Eyes. The young folk you envy so, will soon have gas dreams, back pain, bald heads and a girlfriend that loves someone else, but marries you. Believe me, Jack, nothing *ever* changes.

  Jack Malloy : You know, Floppy, one thing I hope never does change is that... country music still sucks.

  Mr. Floppy : It's a good bet, Jack. I mean, it's pretty much required to suck in order to entertain a bunch of tobacco-chewing inbreds... who listens because it makes their cousins all cow-eyed and ready for love.

• Jack Malloy : Why do you think the Northridge dog traded the gold from Fort Knox for all that plutonium?

  Mr. Floppy : [ominously]  Maybe he's building his own nuclear bomb.

  Jack Malloy : [has chart]  Then how do you explain the blood bank?The trip to Mexico? And the mysterious pile of doodie at the bowling alley? Common thread, Floppy. Got to be a common thread! Floppy, you're a dog. What do you think is going on in this guy's head?

  Mr. Floppy : I'm a bunny, Jack. *A bunny!* If you don't know, how do you expect the viewers to? This is why I didn't get the pudding pot commercial!