Unhappily Ever After (TV Series)

Boxing Mr. Floppy (1995)

Geoff Pierson: Jack Malloy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jack Malloy : [entering apartment]  How you feeling?

  Mr. Floppy : Save the small talk for some bimbo in the produce aisle.

  [urgent:] 

  Mr. Floppy : Do you have my foot?

  Jack Malloy : [carrying whole box of toys]  I've got better! I've got brand-new feet!

  [takes a teddy bear out of the box] 

  Jack Malloy : Look, this one has shoes! Huh?

  [Mr. Floppy is unimpressed] 

  Jack Malloy : Right. Don't worry, I got plenty more. Right.

  [overturns box content, spilling out lots of toys] 

  Jack Malloy : Now this one has toes.

  [holds up blue dragon] 

  Jack Malloy : You can wear thongs.

  [Mr. Floppy is unimpressed] 

  Jack Malloy : At least, take a look at 'em, will ya? All right, here's something.

  [big fluffy white duck] 

  Jack Malloy : See? Webbed feet. You could go swimming.

  Mr. Floppy : They're orange, Jack. I'm grey. I'll look like an old man who plays golf in Miami Beach.

  Jack Malloy : [discards the duck toy]  Look, do you want a foot or not? I mean, I could just tie a popsicle stick to your leg and call you Long John Floppy.

  Mr. Floppy : [looks at him balefully]  Kiss my cottontail!

  [imploring:] 

  Mr. Floppy : I want my foot!

  Jack Malloy : All right. All right, I'm gonna level with you. I haven't got the foot. I... uh...

  [sits down] 

  Jack Malloy : Well, to be truthful to you, Jennie has it.

  Mr. Floppy : Listen to yourself. If you were a song, you'd be on easy listening. If you were a color, you'd be yellow. If you were a plant, you'd be a pussy-willow. Now grow a spine, and go get my foot!

  Jack Malloy : I can't, I tell ya!

  Mr. Floppy : You will! 'Cos not only can I talk like this, I CAN TALK LIKE THAT! GOD, I CAN DO IT ALL THE TIME!

  Jack Malloy : [covering ears]  Okay, okay! Sheesh! Now I know how those inner voices drive people to kill! Okay, Jennie is never going to give it to me, so I'm gonna have to break in and steal it. But first, I'm just gonna take these other toys back to the toy store.

  Mr. Floppy : [something holds his interest]  Oh, wait a second, Jack. Let me have a look at that one.

  Jack Malloy : What? This one?

  [cute foxy blond bare-legged doll, short black dress] 

  Mr. Floppy : Uh-huh.

  [doll is held in front of him, and he looks at her up and down] 

  Mr. Floppy : Turn her around.

  [rear view, he looks at her up and down] 

  Mr. Floppy : Perhaps we could keep this one.

  [Jack gives her to him, and he snuggles up to her] 

  Mr. Floppy : Jack, before you go and get my foot, can you turn off the lights?

  [Jack looks at him pertinently, then switches off light, and Mr. Floppy turns to doll:] 

  Mr. Floppy : So, are you from Korea?