- [first lines]
- Jack Malloy: [has one red sock and one white sock in his hands] Ahr...! Will you look at this? Every time Jennie does the laundry, I lose another sock!
- Mr. Floppy: Women do it on purpose, Jack. They take 'em, they put 'em in a big pot, boil them, and make, the tea that they feed the men. It makes you go bald and lose your will.
- Jack Malloy: Aw, that's just an old bunny's tale.
- Jennie Malloy: [calling from up above] Jack!
- [cooing tone:]
- Jennie Malloy: Would you like some nice tea?
- Jack Malloy: [strangled voice] Yes, dear.
- Jennie Malloy: I mean, the rockers are the ones getting the chicks, right? I mean, Mick Jagger, he got Jerry Hall. Billy Joel, Christie Brinkley. I mean, even that ugly Aerosmith guy got Liv Tyler.
- Jack Malloy: That's his daughter, son.
- Jennie Malloy: That's disgusting!
- Jennie Malloy: [preaching to the band] And don't do drugs when you're on the road. And don't marry your daughter like that guy from Aerosmith.
- Ryan Malloy: So, sis, would you like to be in our band?
- Tiffany Malloy: I'd rather go to a taping of Suddenly Susan.