- Sam Seaborn: [on his answering machine] Hi, it's Sam. I'm sleeping for a few hours right now so you can leave a message, or if you really need me you can shout into the machine, and I'll wake up.
- Josh Lyman: SAM!
- Sam Seaborn: Do we have some sort of condensed, Reader's Digest index of... well, all human knowledge?
- Ginger: We usually just use Margaret.
- C.J. Cregg: [quoting a radio show host] "This is another sign that Abbey Bartlet is a liberal elitist feminist."
- Bruno Gianelli: Elitist feminist? You can't do that to the English language.
- President Josiah Bartlet: I'm going to find out anyway. What I lack in memory, I more than make up for with exceptional powers of deductive reasoning.