Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)

Episode #5.7 (1993)

Tony Slattery: Self

Quotes 

• [Authors - A Day in the Life of a Nursery School] 

  Jim Sweeney : [as Lewis Carroll]  Alice was feeling very flustered. The 5 year olds had just set fire to her feet. It was a perfectly normal Friday but she felt somehow a little stoned. "Don't bogart that joint, bitch" said the caterpillar in the corner. "Pass the duchy on the left hand side".

  [Buzzer] 

  Steve Steen : [as Jackie Collins]  The caterpillar was called Blanche Du Celery, and she moved into the sunlight, arching her back and moaning slightly, her proud breasts standing out like pink...

  [Buzzer] 

  Tony Slattery : [as the disembodied head from The Sun TV commercials]  And you can see them on page 3. There's always more nude caterpillars in the Sun.

  [Buzzer] 

  Mike McShane : [as Dr. Seuss]  Alice said, beyond belief, "I will not smoke that massive spleef. / That massive spleef is so huge, I feel like riding in your louge". / And the caterpillar then, he got in and said "My name is Ben. / Get in my louge and I will fly, we'll fly and then we'll say goodbye".

  [Buzzer] 

  Jim Sweeney : Alice suddenly had a screaming attack of the munchies, and the 5 year olds had taken away all her chocolate.

  [Buzzer] 

  Steve Steen : And then two Dutch lorry drivers came in. One was called Truck Van Rental, the other was called Hertz Van Hire.

  [Buzzer] 

  Tony Slattery : They stood there playing the Alice Bingo Game, which...

  [Buzzer] 

  Mike McShane : "If the game is done, I'd like to leave, my children have left before me I believe," / The caterpillar said "You cannot go, we have to go to the planet Schmo". / So, Schmo they went, and Schmo they did, and they found themselves a little kid, / who was part of a group but he was crying, and on his butt were two eggs frying.

• Clive Anderson : [scenes from a hat]  Olympic sports we'd like to see...

  Tony Slattery : And now the-

  [Steve Steen starts humping him] 

  Tony Slattery : Oh, God!

  Mike McShane : It's a Humping free style tournament!

  Clive Anderson : I think Humping the Tony is in it already...

  Mike McShane : You ought to see the synchronized humping the Tony!