- Wayne Brady: [in "Let's Make a Date"] What is your favorite thing in a woman?
- Ryan Stiles: [as TV's "Crocodile Hunter"] Well, besides ME, I'd have to say...
- [audience laughs/cheers]
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Newsflash", Colin is standing in front of pro wrestling footage] Colin, I know, uh, you were a little sore earlier. Did that Triple Preparation H I gave you help at all?
- Drew Carey: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway?", the homework alternative!
- [winks and gives thumbs up]
- Greg Proops: [in "Weird Newscasters", reacting to Colin's quirk, "Streaker who has bet his friends he can get in all the shots"] Thank goodness we had time for that short feature.
- Wayne Brady: [in "Weird Newscasters", playing an Italian stud]
- [after Colin mimes streaking in front of Drew]
- Wayne Brady: Hey look, it's an Italian sausage!
- [to Drew]
- Wayne Brady: I'll be back for you, but before I go, just one kiss...
- [Drew places his hand over his own mouth as Wayne kisses it]
- Wayne Brady: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh! That is a woman, and that
- [referring to Colin]
- Wayne Brady: is just WRONG! Go away, go away!
- Greg Proops: Grazie bene, Wayne. Like ALL Italian guys, you have strange taste in women. And I wouldn't say that's an Italian sausage, more like a VIENNA sausage.
- Greg Proops: [in "Weird Newscasters"] That's all the time we have for the Action News tonight. Stay tuned for "Geppetto 2", where Geppetto moves in with a... uh, a grown man that he's created.
- Greg Proops: [in "Irish Drinking Song", about divorce]
- [singing]
- Greg Proops: I couldn't stand her nagging.
- Colin Mochrie: [singing] She nagged me day and night.
- Ryan Stiles: [singing] So I told her to go away.
- Wayne Brady: [singing] Because her face was a fright.
- Greg Proops: [singing] I wish I had money.
- Colin Mochrie: [singing] And then I'd be so rich.
- Ryan Stiles: [singing] And I'd never have to-
- [accidentally takes Wayne's verse]
- Ryan Stiles: invite that, oh, never mind!
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Whose Line", the scene is "Beauty and the Beast"]
- [as Belle]
- Colin Mochrie: Look, my, you've imprisoned my father. I'll do anything if you'll set him free.
- Ryan Stiles: [as Beast] ANYTHING?
- Colin Mochrie: [hesitantly] ... Yeah.
- Ryan Stiles: I just want you to be with me. I see you out there every day, knowing I can never have you, and I think to myself,
- [reading pre-written note]
- Ryan Stiles: "Get a load of those cabasas."
- Colin Mochrie: You know, I'm just a simple cabasa farmer. How can I possibly interest you?
- Ryan Stiles: Don't you love that beasts love cabasas? Any sort of meat in a tube.
- Colin Mochrie: How old are you?
- Ryan Stiles: Thirty-two.
- Colin Mochrie: You sound a lot older.
- Ryan Stiles: Really?
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Whose Line", the scene is "Beauty and the Beast"] Why are you so afraid of me? Here, let me put this on...
- [mimes putting on a top hat]
- Ryan Stiles: and grab this cane. Am I so scary NOW?
- [dances]
- Colin Mochrie: You're kind of a lot scarier, actually.
- [Ryan mimes throwing the top hat and cane away]
- Colin Mochrie: And yet, there's something in your eyes. Some gentleness that I hadn't seen before, because of the extreme ugliness.
- Ryan Stiles: Really? Well, I've loved you. Often, I've... looked at you and thought, "If I could only have a woman like that", well, if I could only have a woman like that...
- [reading pre-written note]
- Ryan Stiles: "Give it a tug and see what happens."
- [Colin turns around]
- Ryan Stiles: What are you so afraid of? It's ME, isn't it? Why am I so horrible?
- [dances again]
- Colin Mochrie: No please, don't do the dance thing!
- Ryan Stiles: [mimes throwing the hat and cane away again] I'm just ugly. I'll live my days alone, by myself.
- Colin Mochrie: "Alone, by yourself"?
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Whose Line", the scene is "Beauty and the Beast"]
- [reading pre-written note]
- Colin Mochrie: "Spit out the gum and kiss me hard."
- [audience laughs]
- Colin Mochrie: COME ON! Spit out my dad's gums and kiss me heard!
- Ryan Stiles: [spits] How about if I kiss you WITH your dad's gums?
- [mimes sticking the gums to Colin's cheek]
- Ryan Stiles: ... I guess that won't do!
- [Drew buzzes]
- Ryan Stiles: Oh, apparently it will.