- Brian Michael Hackett: [Spotting Alex entering the terminal] Hello - Alex Lambert, helicopter pilot from Heaven.
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: Oh, wow! I'd sell my soul to the devil for her.
- Brian Michael Hackett: I'd drag myself naked across broken glass just to kiss one of her footprints.
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: Well, I would walk across hot coals just to get to that ground glass.
- Brian Michael Hackett: Yeah? Well, I would doggy-paddle across a pool of hungry pirhanas...
- Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: [Interrupting] Oh, stop it! You two are terrible! I'd take you both over my knee except I'm afraid you'd like it!
- Alex Lambert: I'd rather be alone than with that loser we met tonight.
- Helen Chapel: What was that on his head? A toupee or a piece of sod?
- Alex Lambert: I want that guy's mirror, you know? The one that talks back to him and says, "Hey! Looking good!"