Wonderfalls (TV Series)

Wound-up Penguin (2004)

Tyron Leitso: Eric Gotts

Quotes 

• Jaye Tyler : I don't think there is a next move. Our moves are done. I mean, what more could we possibly do?

  Eric Gotts : Maybe this man in black is the one we should be trying to find.

  Jaye Tyler : I just think it'd be a little like looking for an Irish Johnny Cash in a...

  [as a customer approaches the counter, she sees he's dressed in all black] 

  Jaye Tyler : ...haystack.

  Father Joe Scofield : Excuse me.

  Jaye Tyler : Call you back.

• Eric Gotts : [trying to get information from an unhelpful train station ticket agent]  Okay, that went well.

  Jaye Tyler : We're, like, the worst detectives ever. I don't know what we expected him to tell us.

  Janitor : [mopping as they pass him]  He could've told you about the man in black.

  Jaye Tyler : What?

  Janitor : Let's just say you two aren't the first ones that have been sniffin' around here lookin' for that little girl.

  Eric Gotts : You remember her?

  Janitor : Oh, yeah. She slept on that bench three nights in a row. I'd watch over her, you know, a little, as much as I could, until he showed up, and she'd scurry out of here like a rat come daylight.

  Jaye Tyler : The man, do you remember what he looked like?

  Janitor : A strange-lookin' sort. Dressed in all black. I remember thinking that if Johnny Cash had been born an Irishman, his music would've been more lilting. Whoever he was, I hope you find her before he does.

• Jaye Tyler : What was all that "Leave me alone" screaming about? And you said "jackass".

  Sister Katrina : [giving her a handful of bills]  Here. Here. Take it. It's all I have. It was just a turkey club, for the love of God. You don't have to hunt a person down.

  Father Joe Scofield : You stole food?

  Sister Katrina : I'm not proud.

  Father Joe Scofield : How much was the club?

  Eric Gotts : It's not about sandwich money. We're trying to help her.

  Jaye Tyler : Yeah, missionary man. And where do you get off browbeating a hooker? Jesus was nice to prostitutes.

  Father Joe Scofield : Sister Katrina isn't a prostitute.

  Jaye Tyler : Now I'm going to hell.

• Eric Gotts : I suppose we could try to find her, I guess. But she still owes for that turkey club, and the owner's only letting me stay here 'cause I work here and... oh. I get it.

  Jaye Tyler : You do?

  Eric Gotts : Even though I may only have a cot and large sacks of dried beans, I still have more than this woman does.

  Jaye Tyler : Did I say that?

  Eric Gotts : This poor woman might be in some kind of trouble. Now she's out there without her coat. Okay. Now you've made me feel guilty.

  Jaye Tyler : Right. Guilt.

  Eric Gotts : So you're saying we should track her down, get her her stuff back?

  Jaye Tyler : Right. No, wait. What are we doing?

  Eric Gotts : You know, a lot of people wouldn't have thought of that. They'd have just made sure the door was locked behind her. You're like... you're like a saint.

  Jaye Tyler : Well...

  Eric Gotts : So, what do we do?

  Jaye Tyler : [uncertain]  Uh...

  Eric Gotts : We know she's been to the train station.

  [holding up a ticket] 

  Eric Gotts : We could start there.

  Jaye Tyler : [hesitant]  We could do that.

• Sister Katrina : Let me go! I won't go back! I can't! Why can't you leave me alone?

  Eric Gotts : [bursting in and grabbing the man in black by the throat]  She said leave her alone! Now, how's about you listen?

  Sister Katrina : Don't hurt him. He's a priest.

  Eric Gotts : You're... a priest?

  Sister Katrina : Father Scofield.

  Jaye Tyler : [letting him go, Eric turns to her, mortified]  You're going to hell.

• Eric Gotts : [discovering a woman living in a barrel in the bar]  I remember seeing her in here a few nights back. She had the turkey club, extra-well-done fries and a side of cheese.

  Jaye Tyler : She had a side of cheese?

  Eric Gotts : Didn't even eat it. Just looked at it, then skipped out on her tab.

  Jaye Tyler : Well, didn't skip too far. I wonder how long she's been holed up in that barrel.

  [gasp] 

  Jaye Tyler : Maybe it's her crack barrel! Do you think she's in there free-basing?

  Eric Gotts : I don't see a pipe.

  Jaye Tyler : Well, either way, she's pretty resourceful for a homeless person.

  [sniffing a winter coat] 

  Jaye Tyler : Clean, too.

  Eric Gotts : Do you think she's a tourist?

  Jaye Tyler : Came to Niagara to see the falls and ended up taking a fall.

  Eric Gotts : All it takes is one bad day. Should we call the police?

  Jaye Tyler : Nah. Just toss her crap in the lost and found. Except the coat. We should probably just, you know...

  Muse : [speaking through a wind-up penguin toy]  Bring her back.

  Jaye Tyler : Bring her back?

  Eric Gotts : Bring her back?

  Muse : Bring her back.

  Jaye Tyler : No! Well, I mean, why?

  Eric Gotts : I don't know. It's your idea.

  Jaye Tyler : It's not my idea.

  Eric Gotts : It wasn't you?

  Jaye Tyler : It wasn't a suggestion.

  Eric Gotts : It wasn't?

• Eric Gotts : You're a nun?

  Sister Katrina : Not anymore. I'm not going back there. I can't. I can't.

  Jaye Tyler : Back where?

  Sister Katrina : The convent.

  Jaye Tyler : Why not? Did you "Agnes of God" her? I bet he did. I bet he "Agnes of God"-ed all over her.

  Father Joe Scofield : Would you shut up?

• Jaye Tyler : [Katrina stares at a plate of chili cheese fries]  Are you praying? Did they give you food shame at the convent?

  Sister Katrina : The food was glorious. Sister Suzanne took cuisines of the Americas.

  Eric Gotts : Maybe now is a good time to come up with a plan. Can you type?

  Sister Katrina : No.

  Jaye Tyler : So, is Sister Suzanne mean?

  Sister Katrina : She's a lovely person.

  Jaye Tyler : I always picture nuns being mean.

  Eric Gotts : I do, too. And I don't know why.

  Jaye Tyler : Well, it's probably because they...

  [turning attention back to Katrina] 

  Jaye Tyler : Although you seem nice. Did the mean nuns pick on you?

  Sister Katrina : No, nobody picked on me. It was a sisterhood. We all took the same vows. I loved the convent. We grew alfalfa in the fields.

  Muse : Bring her back to him.

  Jaye Tyler : If you were so happy with the sisters in the field, why'd you leave?

  Sister Katrina : It was... the cheese. The cheese was my undoing. This is the miracle of life melted over these chili fries. A bacterial flirtation with enzymes. The comingling of friendly microorganisms giving birth to curds and whey. "And from dust, he created the universe."

  Jaye Tyler : The diary board must love you.

• Father Joe Scofield : Sister, everyone's very worried about you. After 12 years, you don't just up and leave without explanation. What happened?

  Sister Katrina : It doesn't matter! I'm not going back!

  Father Joe Scofield : Well, you can't stay here.

  Eric Gotts : Why the hell not? You can't force her to go. She's standing there telling you she's not coming back. Now, to me, that means she's not coming back. So if the good sister wants to move on with her life, I suggest you stand aside and let her move on.

  Jaye Tyler : Amen.

• Sister Katrina : The microorganisms in this cheese... tell me God exists. This sack of meat that holds a soul tells me God exists. God himself, however, hasn't told me anything. Not really. Not definitively. And certainly not out loud.

  Jaye Tyler : You don't really want the "out loud" part, do you? I mean, it's gotta be upsetting. I'm sure of it.

  Sister Katrina : Not as upsetting as doubt. It's a sin to live in his house when doubt lives in your heart. And I know the exact moment it moved in. I was in the kitchen nibbling on the fresh pecorino Sister Louise brought back from Italy, and I thought, "What if it's just cheese? What if I'm just cheese? What if this sack of meat is just a bacterial flirtation, and my soul is only a comingling of friendly microorganisms?"

  Jaye Tyler : But God's your thing. I mean, you grew alfalfa and took a vow.

  Sister Katrina : But how am I supposed to commit my life to something I'm not sure is real?

  Muse : Bring her back to him.

  Jaye Tyler : To who?

  Sister Katrina : To me. He has to be real to me. He has to show me. Otherwise, I'm just praising the word of some phantom bully in the sky.

  Muse : Bring her back to him.

  Jaye Tyler : Oh, "Him". With the big "H". I get it.

  Eric Gotts : Who did you think we were talking about?

• Eric Gotts : So, do you do this sort of thing a lot, going out of your way to help people you don't even know?

  Jaye Tyler : Uh... I wouldn't say "a lot".

  Eric Gotts : Me, either. Heidi wouldn't allow it. She always said I shouldn't open my mouth to strangers.

  Jaye Tyler : Ironic. You know, considering.

• Jaye Tyler : [learning Eric sleeps in his bar's back room]  So, I like your new place. It has a certain... hobo charm.

  Eric Gotts : I don't know about charm, but it does have rats. The old expression about mice and "quiet as" doesn't apply to rats.

  Jaye Tyler : Well, just be grateful they're not keeping you up at night with incessant chatter.

  Jaye Tyler : [hearing a noise nearby]  I think they heard us talking about them.

• Jaye Tyler : May I help you?

  Father Joe Scofield : I see you have several public notices in your window. I wonder if you might add this one.

  [handing her a missing-persons flyer] 

  Father Joe Scofield : I'd be so grateful.

  Jaye Tyler : [cut to the bar]  And then he smiled.

  Eric Gotts : Ew!

  Jaye Tyler : Right?

  Eric Gotts : [giving the flyer a glance]  Katrina. That's her name.

  Jaye Tyler : No last name. She's a prostitute. And he's her pimp. Her goth pimp. She's trying to leave the lifestyle and he won't let her.

  [he dials the contact number] 

  Jaye Tyler : What are you doing?

  Eric Gotts : Calling Johnny.

• Jaye Tyler : Oh, thank God.

  Eric Gotts : What is it that bartenders say? You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. I'm working on my timing.

  Jaye Tyler : Are you gonna say it to me, too? Please don't. 'Cause if you kick me out, I'll have to wander the streets 'til morning.

  Eric Gotts : We are kind of closed. But I'll see what I can do.

  Jaye Tyler : I can imbibe quickly if you need to go home.

  Eric Gotts : Funny thing about that.

  Jaye Tyler : [cut to a makeshift bedroom]  So, you live in the back room.

  Eric Gotts : Technically, it's where I sleep. I'm not sure where I live. Although I'm pretty sure I don't live in New Jersey anymore.

  Jaye Tyler : Weren't you staying in some honeymoon suite somewhere?

  Eric Gotts : Mm. Once they figured I wasn't gonna sue, they stopped comping my room.

  Jaye Tyler : You should absolutely go litigious on their asses. I mean, one of their employees ruined your marriage and, arguably, your life.

  Eric Gotts : Yeah, but if Heidi had stuck with the hospitality basket, or a more traditional definition of the term "room service", we'd both be back in New Jersey right now starting our married life together. One bad day and everything changes.

  Jaye Tyler : One bad 'sode, and not only does everything start changing, but everything starts talking to you.

  Eric Gotts : Huh. I don't get it.

  Jaye Tyler : I'm not sure I get it, either.

• Jaye Tyler : [in a vacant motel room adjacent to the man in black's]  I don't hear anything. Do you hear anything?

  [Eric shakes his head] 

  Jaye Tyler : What if we're too late? What if he's already beat her to death with a bag of oranges for withholding trick money?

  Eric Gotts : Well, if she had any trick money, I don't think she'd be living in a barrel. I know I wouldn't be.

  Jaye Tyler : Yes, but maybe she's just a lazy whore. That happens, right? They can't all have hearts of gold and good work ethics. And come on. This place does have a certain pay-by-the-hour vibe.

  Eric Gotts : It's just a transient hotel for people who aren't sure whether they're coming or going. People that need hot plates and kitchenettes and all the other trappings of creative nonpermanence.

  Jaye Tyler : You sound like a brochure.

• Eric Gotts : I thought the priest was leaving town.

  Jaye Tyler : I asked him not to.

  Eric Gotts : I thought we were on the same page with this thing. Why would you do this? Why would you try to ambush her with the one person she doesn't want to see? I thought you were on my side.

  Jaye Tyler : I didn't ambush her. I'm doing a good thing here. Remember how much you like me when I do good things? She loves the nunnery. She told me she was really happy there.

  Eric Gotts : Was. *Was*. Past tense. Things change. People change. And when other people try to force people not to change, then the changing, which wasn't easy to begin with, just gets harder.

• Father Joe Scofield : People sin. People transgress. Especially in love. Hell, I transgressed indiscriminately before I was called by God. But God forgave me those transgressions.

  Eric Gotts : Y-You're telling me to forgive my wife?

  Father Joe Scofield : "Forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."

  Eric Gotts : So I should go back to her?

  Father Joe Scofield : You can forgive someone and still choose not to be with them.

  Eric Gotts : It was a yes or no question.

  Father Joe Scofield : I don't have a yes or no answer.

• Eric Gotts : Someone took her dreams away. What was is no more. I mean, it's not like she wanted to end up sleeping in a barrel. Who would?

  Father Joe Scofield : Where did you say you sleep, again?

  Eric Gotts : Yes, but in a bed. And only 'cause my wife cheated on me and took all my dreams away. At least the ones that had to do with being married to her. And now what Heidi was is no more, so it doesn't even matter.

  Father Joe Scofield : Are you confessing something?

  Eric Gotts : I didn't kill her. I just left her. Lost faith in her. I lost faith in that whole other life, and I don't know if I want it back.

• Eric Gotts : Trying to force a nun back to the convent when she doesn't wanna go back to the convent is very unpriestly, even though it might sound priestly.

  Father Joe Scofield : [on the toilet in a stall]  I'm not in the business of forcing anyone to do anything. That seems to be your game.

  Eric Gotts : What's that supposed to mean?

  Father Joe Scofield : Well, for example, right now, by the nature of our geography, you're forcing me to have this conversation.

  Eric Gotts : You're forcing me to force you! Someone has to stand up for Katrina! I mean, what's wrong with a person needing a little time to figure out their life?

  Father Joe Scofield : Look, while you're figuring out whatever you're figuring out, could you hand me some toilet paper, please?