- Lily: Crap! Band! We forgot a band! It's just gonna be silence and then people chewing.
- Marshall Eriksen: Shh! Shh! Baby, don't worry about it. I called The 88!
- Lily: Who?
- Marshall Eriksen: The 88. They're this awesome band. They played my law review party. They were found guilty. On three counts of rocking.
- Sean: Hey, uh, you ladies want something to take the edge off?
- [Passes over a flask]
- Robin: Yeah, what the hell? It's prom.
- [Drinks]
- Robin: That tastes like cough syrup.
- Sean: Yeah, we couldn't get any alcohol. Um, our fake IDs say we're only 20. We didn't realize it till after we bought them.
- Robin: Nerds who aren't good at math? Life's going to be rough, boys.
- Barney: And that, my friends, is why you never get your money's worth when you wear jeans to a strip club.
- Scooter: You're, you're breaking up with me?
- Lily: There's still so much I want to do. I want to travel, live overseas as an artist, maybe have a lesbian relationship. Plus, I think I was just dating you 'cause you look a little bit like Kurt Cobain.
- Scooter: I can't believe this. I can change. I can look more like Kurt Cobain.
- Barney: [At the Prom] How did you guys get in here?
- Ted: We just snuck in the back.
- Barney: [Appalled] You just snu... Are you serious? I've been trying to get in here all night. I finally paid a janitor 200 bucks to let me borrow this mascot costume.
- [Gestures to the Turtle costume he's wearing]
- Ted: But you got in. Slow and steady won the race.
- [Lily finds out she can't go into a high school's prom to see a band that she might hire for her wedding]
- Barney: No sweat. We'll just sneak in.
- Marshall Eriksen: We're not sneaking into a high school prom.
- Lily: Yes, we are, it's the only way.
- Ted: You're getting on board with Barney's idea? Man, you really have snapped.
- Lily: It's 9 weeks till the wedding. At this point, I'd say yes to just about anything.
- Barney: Well...
- Lily: No, Barney.
- Barney: [When Robin and Lily show him their prom outfits] You look so classy and nice. You're going to stick out like a sore thumb. Have you seen how the kids are dressing these days, with the Ashlee and the Lindsay and the Paris? They all dress like strippers. It's go ho or go home.
- Lily: Well, we have to get in. I have to see this band, 'cause we have to make a decision by Monday, 'cause I'm getting married in 71 days, and we still don't have...
- Robin: Shh. Sweetie, just focus on one thing at a time, okay? Right now, you just have to dress like a whore and that's it.
- Lily: [after Andrew tells her his dreams for after High School] No, you won't accomplish anything you set out to. You'll get a girlfriend the first day of college and you'll give up your independence and you'll never live abroad and you'll wind up old before your time wondering "Whatever happened to my hopes and my dreams?"
- Andrew: Whoa. You really think I'll get a girlfriend?