Scrubs (TV Series)

My Half-Acre (2006)

Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian

Quotes 

• J.D. : I know I haven't hit it in a while, but there's good reasons for that

  Dr. Cox : Two good reasons: his face and his personality.

  J.D. : Sticks and stones may break my bones...

  [thinking] 

  J.D. : But words will hurt forever

• J.D. : How did you know I'd move to fast with Julie?

  Dr. Cox : How do you know that I can be that kind of dad?

  Turk : How did you that Kelso just wanted respect?

  Elliot : Because I know you!

  Carla : Because I know you!

  Janitor : Because I know him!

  Todd : [watches it on the security camera]  This is so cool!

• J.D. : I think it's important to listen to the people who know you best. Because if you do, you might get to rock.

• J.D. : Morning, Elliot! By the way, Julie's here. I'm not gonna kiss and tell.

  Elliot : Oh really? 'Cause I just got your text that said, "Bone city".

  J.D. : Oh really? That went through?

• Elliot : You know, I actually like Julie, so don't do that thing you always do.

  J.D. : If you're referring to the game Find the Saltine, relax. I don't even play that with Turk anymore.

• J.D. : [Voice over]  So I had to use Elliot's advice with Julie. Luckily, she's not great at gloating.

  Elliot : Ha ha, you had sex last night with a beautiful girl that you really like!

  J.D. : [Voice over]  Sometimes she needs a little help.

  [out loud] 

  J.D. : Uh, you probably meant if it weren't for you, I'd still be dating my laptop.

  Elliot : Right. In your face, ha ha!

  [whispering] 

  Elliot : Thank you.

• Julie Quinn : Are we crazy to be thinking about buying this?

  J.D. : No, it's a sound investment and a great addition to my portfolio.

  [Voice over] 

  J.D. : Which consists of two shares of Eastern Airlines stock and a pack of unopened Les Mis trading cards.