Kaput and Zösky: The Ultimate Obliterators (TV Series)

At Arm's Length (2003)

Mark Camacho: Zösky

Quotes 

• Kaput : Those long armed maggots! They actually got me into a bathtub...and it wasn't even my yearly bath day!

  Zösky : [queasy]  Kaput, I've been meaning to talk to you about that...do you suppose you could have *two* bath days this year? One's just not doing it!

• Kaput : [reading a newspaper]  Hey hey hey, look at this! Ron O' Bandaigley won the tournament of the Centauri sector!

  Zösky : Really, Kaput, that's not news, that's just sports! Let me see that.

  [he takes the paper and reads it] 

  Zösky : Well, I *never*! Did you know that fourteen percent of people *don't* wash their hands after they go to the bathroom?

  Kaput : And I suppose that's more important than Ron O' Bandaigley winning the tournament of the Centauri sector?

  Zösky : Do you know what your problem is, Kaput? You lack good judgement and taste!

  Kaput : Oh, yeah? Well, you know what your problem is?

  [he snatches the paper] 

  Kaput : YOU DON'T HAVE A NEWSPAPER!

• Kaput : I can't wait to see the looks on our future slaves' faces!

  Zösky : I think you may be disappointed. They don't have faces. As a matter of fact, it looks like they only have arms!

• Zösky : We can't be changing our minds like we change our underwear!

  Kaput : You're right. Once a month *is* a bit often to change our minds!

• Zösky : [a snake appears behind him]  The mosquitoes in this planet are pretty vicious, don't you think? YEEEARGH!

  [the snake bites him and he goes flying in the air, then lands on Kaput] 

  Kaput : It's not just the mosquitoes that are vicious around here, what's the matter with you?

  Zösky : He tried to eat me!