- Skeleton One (Steve): Here's Johnny!
- Skeleton Two: Someone order ribs?
- Skeleton Three: Bring out your dead!
- Skeleton Four: Uhh... Pirates of the Caribbean.
- Skeleton One (Steve): Hey, I thought we said no Disney jokes.
- Ermintrude: [the second jewel, which sits across a room of lasers] So, who's gonna get it?
- Doogal: Ummm... I'm chewing my gum...
- Doogal: [after large skeleton assembles itself] Oh, no sir. We're just a couple of muggles on our way to Hogwarts here for a pickup for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Is that you govner?
- Ermintrude: [to Zebedee who has just explained their mission] Okay, you want us to find the diamonds? Cool. But what are we suppose to do, take the bus or something?
- Dylan: [Zebedee pulls out a boxed device with a button] Okay, that's a box with a button on it?
- Ermintrude: [Zebedee presses the button and Train magically appears] Wow! He pushed a button and made a train. Now that's what I'm talking about.
- Train: You got it. Because I'm the train, and you're not.
- Zeebad: Here we go. Mens room, food court... ah, booby trap filled lobby.
- Soldier Sam: Well that's not very nice, someone could get hurt here.
- Soldier Sam: I'll go ahead sir, I have a sixth sense for danger.
- [activates trap]
- Zeebad: Yes, and you almost lost senses three through five.
- Zeebad: Dispose of the prisoner!
- Soldier Sam: Cant't do that sir, Geneva Convention.
- Zeebad: I don't care if it's a Star Trek convention, BEAM HIM OFF!