- Colonel Tate: Well, I'd think you'd hate the sight of him; deserting the South to fight on the Union side.
- Yancy Derringer: Colonel, each man to his own belief. After all, the shooting is over... I have a feeling we've met before.
- Colonel Tate: Not to my knowledge. All right, Mr. Derringer, the guard will show you the way. I'm giving Hampton five minutes with you only because I'm shooting him in the morning - so, you see, the shooting isn't quite over.
- Yancy Derringer: [narrating] Well, I couldn't help John Colton until I found him and I had one slim chance - a man named Jody Barker. Jody was the pickpocket of Bourbon Street, a sneak thief, devoted coward and a friend in need - when he was in need. Nothing happened on Bourbon Street that he didn't see, so I decided to pay him a visit.
- Yancy Derringer: Pahoo, if the Colonel gets out of line, save one barrel for him alone... I'd just like to see how far he'll bounce.
- Madame Francine: Welcome to the club. Any friend of Yancy's...
- Phillip Hampton: ...is a friend of yours?
- Madame Francine: I was going to say "Any friend of Yancy's is a fool for trouble" but you're right, too.
- [last lines]
- Colonel Tate: You should have killed me.
- Yancy Derringer: I'll leave that priviledge to your commanding officer.
- Colonel Tate: My commanding officer?
- Yancy Derringer: The President of the United States.