- [after giving his father a great gift and wondering how he's going to give one equally good next year]
- Raymond: You don't get it. It's not that I don't have to worry for a year, it's that I have a YEAR to WORRY!
- Robert Barone: Well Dad at least you still have the good old remote boat. Where is it?
- Frank Barone: I needed a coffin for Stan.
- Robert Barone: You buried Stan in the remote boat?
- Frank Barone: Ally wanted to have a ceremony. You don't just flush a forty dollar fish down the toilet.
- Marie Barone: [Frank has just gone upstairs to change into his stretchy pants] Okay, let's get the presents.
- Ray Barone: What are you talking about?
- Debra Barone: Presents? You told me we weren't getting him a present.
- Ray Barone: I-He hates presents. Robert, what's going on? We stopped getting him presents.
- Robert Barone: Well, it *is* his sixty-fifth birthday, Raymond. You didn't get him a present?
- Ray Barone: I got him a card, a funny card.
- Robert Barone: So no present from you.
- Ray Barone: Well... The kids made stuff.
- Robert Barone: But nothing from you.
- Ray Barone: No.
- Robert Barone: Dad, you coming down, or what?
- Ray Barone: I don't know why you keep trying. You're just gonna have to return it like always.
- Marie Barone: Uh-uh. Not this year. It's a final-sale item. No refunds and no exchanges.
- Frank Barone: That's what her parents said when we got married.