The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart the Lover (1992)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Todd Flanders

Photos 

Quotes 

• [the following is a montage of Homer and the swear jar] 

  [In church. The salvation money is being collected. Homer takes out his wallet and gives them a dollar bill] 

  Bart Simpson : Homer, that was a twenty.

  Homer : [yelling]  Da - !

  [Homer puts coins in the swear jar] 

  Homer : [At the bowling alley. The ball hits all pins. The last one is still jiggling around. Homer makes motions for the pin to fall. The pin stays straight] 

  Homer : [yelling]  Oh, you son of a - !

  [Homer puts more coins in the swear jar] 

  Homer : [Homer is taking out the garbage. Flanders, shaved, talks to him from the fence] 

  Ned Flanders : Homer. You know, I owe you one, buddy. No sooner had I shaved off the old cocky-duster than a lady cast me in a commercial.

  [collects the mail] 

  Ned Flanders : I tell you, the way these checks keep coming in, it's almost criminal.

  Homer : [yelling]  You dirty bas - !

  [Homer puts more coins in the swear jar] 

  Homer : [Lisa is watching Homer build a doghouse] 

  Homer : What do you think, Lisa?

  Lisa Simpson : How's the dog supposed to get in?

  Homer : Well, he just goes - Oh - !

  [Homer puts more coins in the swear jar] 

  Homer : [Homer is outside, sleeping in a hammock. A beehive falls on him. The bees fly out]  Aaah!

  [Homer puts more coins in the swear jar. This time, his arm is covered in bee stings] 

  Homer : [Homer is outside, building the doghouse. He hits his finger] 

  Homer : Aa - Oh, fudge. That's... broken.

  [gets up and steps on a nail, impaling his toe] 

  Homer : Fiddle-dee-dee! That will require a tetanus shot. I'm not going to swear, but I am going to KICK THIS DOGHOUSE DOWN!

  [goes psycho and starts kicking the doghouse, destroying it] 

• Lisa Simpson : Now we need to find a way to end it.

  Homer : How about, "with a love that will echo through the ages..."

  Lisa Simpson , Marge Simpson : Awww...

  Bart Simpson : Homer, you old honey dripper!

• Mrs. Krabappel : [sighs]  Oh, Woodrow. How could you stand me up?

  Bart Simpson : Mrs. K, whoever this guy is, you don't need him. There are plenty of good men around.

  Mrs. Krabappel : Name one.

  Bart Simpson : What's wrong with Principal Skinner?

  Mrs. Krabappel : Seymour? Heh. Let's just say his mommy won't let him out to play.

  Bart Simpson : What about Coach Fortner?

  Mrs. Krabappel : [makes a drinking gesture]  Glug, glug, glug, glug glug, glug, glug, glug.

  Bart Simpson : Wow... What about Groundskeeper Willie?

  Mrs. Krabappel : Gah! I'm not even gonna tell you what that guy's into! Bart, you are the closest thing to a man in my life... and that's so depressing, I think I'm gonna cry.

  [starts sobbing] 

• [Writing a farewell love letter to Mrs. Krabappel] 

  Bart Simpson : How about, "an alligator bit off my face."

  Marge Simpson : That's disgusting! And besides, if a woman really loves a man, she doesn't care if an alligator bites off his face.

  Homer : I may hold you to that, Marge.

• Mrs. Krabappel : [Bart accidentally killed the classroom fish with his yo-yo]  Bart, that's one month's detention.

  Bart Simpson : Mrs Krabappel, we're all upset by the untimely deaths of Stinky and Wrinkles, but life goes on, so if I could just have my yo-yo back...

  Mrs. Krabappel : Bart, if I were you and you were me, would you give back the yo-yo?

  Bart Simpson : [Bart imagines himself as a giant with a yo-yo and Mrs Krabappel as a tiny person]  Here you go.

  [he reels it in before she can grab it] 

  Bart Simpson : Just kidding. Here you go.

  [does it again] 

  Bart Simpson : Just kidding,

  [laughs evilly] 

  Mrs. Krabappel : Well, would you?

  Bart Simpson : Absolutely.

  Mrs. Krabappel : HA!

• Mrs. Krabappel : After two months at sea the Pilgrims were running out of food and water. Yes, Nelson?

  Nelson Muntz : Did they have any yo-yos?

  Mrs. Krabappel : [annoyed]  No, they did not have yo-yos.

  Mrs. Krabappel : [continues her lecture]  When they landed they were greeted by the Wompanog lndians. Yes, Milhouse?

  Milhouse Van Houten : Did the indians have yo-yos?

  Mrs. Krabappel : [angrily agitated]  No, they did not have yo-yos! I am sick and tired of talking about yo-yos. I will not accept any book reports, science projects, dioramas or anything else on yo-yos. Am I making myself clear?

  Bart Simpson : [in a sly tone]  Yo!