Count Duckula (TV Series)

Hardluck Hotel (1988)

David Jason: Count Duckula

Photos 

Quotes 

• Count Duckula : Nanny... You're a ninny, nanny!

• Count Duckula : Now, ladies and gentlemen, I've never seen these good people before in my life. Will you confirm, sir and madam...

  [He sees that Igor and Nanny are standing on the stage in front of him] 

  Count Duckula : That I have never... That I... I... Ay-ay-ay! Igor, Nanny!

  Nanny : Oh, bless us, what a mind reader, Mr. Igor. He's got our names right off.

  Count Duckula : What are you doing at the Hardluck Hotel?

  Nanny : And he's got the name of the 'otel and all!

  Count Duckula : [taking off his turban]  It's *me*, Nanny!

  Nanny : No, I'm Nanny. You're the great Duckarooni.

  Count Duckula : [Taking off the rest of his costume]  No, it's me, me, me!

  Nanny : [finally recognising him]  Oh, Duckyboos.

  [She hugs him tightly] 

• [Duckula runs down to the kitchen and talks to an imaginary chef] 

  Count Duckula : Oh, hi there, Chef!

  [as the chef] 

  Count Duckula : What d'you want?

  [as the bellhop] 

  Count Duckula : Lady in the quartermass suite wants a mug of cocoa.

  [as the chef] 

  Count Duckula : Forget it.

  [as the bellhop] 

  Count Duckula : Forget it?

  [as the chef, throwing off his hat] 

  Count Duckula : I'm off duty as from now.

  [as the bellhop] 

  Count Duckula : But what about the washer-up?

  [as the chef] 

  Count Duckula : He's off duty, too.

  [as the washer-up, throwing off his apron] 

  Count Duckula : Well, that makes three of us, so this is goodnight.

  [He bounds onto a kitchen counter and throws a blanket over him] 

  Count Duckula : [as the chef]  Goodnight.

  [as the bellhop or washer-up] 

  Count Duckula : Goodnight.

  [He starts snoring. Grinder pokes his head around the doorway and growls, not happy with the fact that the Count is sleeping on the job. Duckula wakes up and sits up] 

  Count Duckula : Did you, uh, hear something?

  [as the chef] 

  Count Duckula : Like what?

  [Grinder growls again] 

  Count Duckula : Like that.

  [as the chef] 

  Count Duckula : Oh, it's the good old Grinder.

  [Duckula throws off the blanket and jumps off the counter] 

  Count Duckula : Right, Chef, cocoa for the lady in the quartermasse suite.

  [He puts on the bellhop hat again] 

  Count Duckula : It'll be a pleasure.

  [as the chef, holding a jug of cocoa and a cup] 

  Count Duckula : One cocoa.

  [as the bellhop] 

  Count Duckula : Thank you, thank you, here I go!

  [He races back up to the front of Nanny's room]