- Count Duckula: Now, ladies and gentlemen, I've never seen these good people before in my life. Will you confirm, sir and madam...
- [He sees that Igor and Nanny are standing on the stage in front of him]
- Count Duckula: That I have never... That I... I... Ay-ay-ay! Igor, Nanny!
- Nanny: Oh, bless us, what a mind reader, Mr. Igor. He's got our names right off.
- Count Duckula: What are you doing at the Hardluck Hotel?
- Nanny: And he's got the name of the 'otel and all!
- Count Duckula: [taking off his turban] It's *me*, Nanny!
- Nanny: No, I'm Nanny. You're the great Duckarooni.
- Count Duckula: [Taking off the rest of his costume] No, it's me, me, me!
- Nanny: [finally recognising him] Oh, Duckyboos.
- [She hugs him tightly]
- [Duckula runs down to the kitchen and talks to an imaginary chef]
- Count Duckula: Oh, hi there, Chef!
- [as the chef]
- Count Duckula: What d'you want?
- [as the bellhop]
- Count Duckula: Lady in the quartermass suite wants a mug of cocoa.
- [as the chef]
- Count Duckula: Forget it.
- [as the bellhop]
- Count Duckula: Forget it?
- [as the chef, throwing off his hat]
- Count Duckula: I'm off duty as from now.
- [as the bellhop]
- Count Duckula: But what about the washer-up?
- [as the chef]
- Count Duckula: He's off duty, too.
- [as the washer-up, throwing off his apron]
- Count Duckula: Well, that makes three of us, so this is goodnight.
- [He bounds onto a kitchen counter and throws a blanket over him]
- Count Duckula: [as the chef] Goodnight.
- [as the bellhop or washer-up]
- Count Duckula: Goodnight.
- [He starts snoring. Grinder pokes his head around the doorway and growls, not happy with the fact that the Count is sleeping on the job. Duckula wakes up and sits up]
- Count Duckula: Did you, uh, hear something?
- [as the chef]
- Count Duckula: Like what?
- [Grinder growls again]
- Count Duckula: Like that.
- [as the chef]
- Count Duckula: Oh, it's the good old Grinder.
- [Duckula throws off the blanket and jumps off the counter]
- Count Duckula: Right, Chef, cocoa for the lady in the quartermasse suite.
- [He puts on the bellhop hat again]
- Count Duckula: It'll be a pleasure.
- [as the chef, holding a jug of cocoa and a cup]
- Count Duckula: One cocoa.
- [as the bellhop]
- Count Duckula: Thank you, thank you, here I go!
- [He races back up to the front of Nanny's room]