- Bill: [singing] Now I've known Jerome since he was a puppy, he's never one to wander far from home.
- Coo: He tipped over the trash and I acted too rash.
- Bill, Coo: Now it's 3 days since I've seen Jerome. Jerome!
- Coo: Here, Jerome!
- Bill, Coo: Jerome won't you please come home? You can eat at the table, have a steak all your own.
- Coo: Jerome.
- Bill, Coo: Won't you please come home?
- Bill: Love you, Coo.
- Coo: Love you, Bill.
- Bill, Coo: Bye!
- Ernest P. Worrel: Hey Vern, my pet daycare center's going great, but the ducks have locked themselves in the other bathroom. So I was wondering if you'd mind watching these water snakes for me.
- [drops snakes in the tub]
- Ernest P. Worrel: Oh Vern, they already had lunch, nap time is 2 o' clock and please, don't let them play stick ball in the street know what I mean?
- Auntie Nelda: Dogs, they're supposed to be companions, all they do is cause commotion. Take my dog, Korak, you let him out, he wants in. You let him in, he wants out. You go to feed him.
- [throws the food in Korak's face]
- Auntie Nelda: He's not hungry. Dogs, man's best friend, wouldn't you know it, I'm a woman, I don't apply.
- Ernest P. Worrel: Hey Vern, I know you're not supposed to count your chickens before they hatch but what do you do if they're already numbered?
- [picks up an egg with 8 on it]
- George's Roomate: Now I've never been much for pets around the house, but you know how George can be when it comes to getting what he wants. George calls it fun, but I call it more work for me.
- Auntie Nelda: I had a splinter once, it was so big it had a name. My son, God bless him, had to pull it out with a tow-truck!