One Foot in the Grave (TV Series)

Timeless Time (1990)

Richard Wilson: Victor Meldrew

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  [Victor is tossing and turning] 

  Margaret Meldrew : Try counting something.

  Victor Meldrew : Yes. I'll try counting my blessings.

  [short pause] 

  Victor Meldrew : Well, that didn't take very long.

• [last lines] 

  Margaret Meldrew : You won't be able to have porridge for your breakfast tomorrow; we're out of milk.

  Victor Meldrew : Hmph. I'll have powered.

  Margaret Meldrew : We're also out of porridge.

  Victor Meldrew : Aaaah. Well, I'll have something different.

  Margaret Meldrew : What?

  Victor Meldrew : Hmmmmm. I think I might try worms and toast for a change.

  Margaret Meldrew : We'll open a new can in the morning.

  Victor Meldrew : Yes, we always seem to.

• [after Victor has entered the room after going outside to turn the alarm off] 

  Margaret Meldrew : Victor, what on earth's that you got on your foot?

  Victor Meldrew : Where?

  [she turns the light on, then screams] 

  Margaret Meldrew : You've got your foot in a rotting hedgehog!

• Victor Meldrew : When you think about it, nothing ever exists, in fact. I was working this out in the post office as I was waiting for that woman to finish twanging her elastic bands. The future doesn't exist because it hasn't happened yet; the past doesn't exist because it's already over. But the present doesn't exist, because as soon as you start to think about it it's already in the past. Which doesn't exist any more.