The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer the Heretic (1992)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bart : Hey, where's Homer?

  Marge : Your father is... resting.

  Bart : "Resting" hung over? "Resting" got fired? Help me out here.

• Marge : I have a responsibility to raise these children right and, unless you change, I'll have to tell them their father is... well, wicked.

  Homer : [to Lisa and Bart]  Kids, let me tell you about another so-called wicked guy. He had long hair, and some wild ideas, and he didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was...

  [thinks] 

  Homer : I forget. But the point is...

  [thinks] 

  Homer : I forget that, too.

  [to Marge] 

  Homer : Marge, you know who I'm talking about! He used to drive that blue car.

• [Homer pooh-poohs churchgoing] 

  Marge : Don't make me choose between my man and my God, because you just can't win.

  Homer : There you go again, always taking someone else's side. Flanders, the water department, God...

• Marge : Get up, Homer. It's time for church.

  Homer : I don't want to go.

  Marge : It's church. You have to go.

  Homer : Too cold out!

  [We see outside the window. It is a blizzard. A polar bear is digging through the garbage. He pulls out a fish and leaves] 

  Marge : I'm tired of having this argument every Sunday! Get dressed!

  [She throws Homer's pants on Homer] 

  Homer : Oh! Stupid, itchy church pants!

  [Homer is downstairs, messing with his pants] 

  Homer : "One size fits all," my butt!

  Marge : Come on! We're going to be late!

  [Homer pulls up his pants. They rip] 

  Homer : Forget it. I'm not going.

  [Homer walks upstairs, revealing his posterior] 

  Marge : [Groans] 

• Marge : Homer, the Lord only asks for an hour a week.

  Homer : Well in that case, He should've made the week an hour longer. Lousy God.