Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

Red Zone Cuba (1994)

Jim Mallon: Gypsy

Quotes 

• Crow T. Robot : You know, aside from the fact that I'll never experience joy in my life, I don't think Red Zone Cuba had any kind of negative effect on me.

  Mike Nelson : Yeah, even being Carol Channing didn't shield me from the effect of this one.

  Tom Servo : Well, hey! I know what we can do to cheer ourselves up! Let's sing us a bouncy, upbeat song! Okay?

  Crow T. Robot : That's a great idea!

  Mike Nelson : Okay!

  Tom Servo : Hit it, Cambot!

  [singing] 

  Tom Servo : Whenever I want to cry and bawl, Because I'm feeling sad, I think of ironing boards and drywall, And then I don't feel so bad!

  Crow T. Robot : [singing]  Whenever I'm feeling down and blue, And sorry for myself, I get some staples and some glue, And I'm happy as an elf!

  Mike Nelson : [singing] 

  [singing] 

  Mike Nelson : Whenever I start to mope and pout, And there's nothing left in my soul, I check the toilet paper and if we're out, I buy another roll!

  Gypsy : [singing]  Have you ever touched a Post-it Note? Have you ever looked at boots? Have you ever sat down in a chair? Have you ever used a paper clip?

  Crow T. Robot : [singing]  So if you listen to our advice,

  Tom Servo : [singing]  And you wanna feel terrific!

  Gypsy : [singing]  Do things that make you feel nice,

  Mike Nelson : [singing]  I wish we could be more specific!