- Tom Servo: So, basically, according to themselves, the Air Force is a bunch of leather-faced, not so bright and heavy-drinking, goat-witted speed freaks who poop in their pants and can't make it with women, right?
- Mike Nelson: [as a guy running from a desert] Oh, it was pretty rough, man. I had to eat a lizard and drink my urine.
- Tom Servo: [as other guy] But you were only here for ten minutes!
- Mike Nelson: [as the runner] I know, but...