- [inside Duke's dungeon]
- Duke Phillips: All right, Sherman, you've been down here long enough. I'll give you the dental plan you want with a $50 deductible.
- Jay Sherman: $25 deductible!
- Duke Phillips: See you in five years!
- Miranda: Vlada, If I'm gonna stay in New York, I really need a job. Could I be your hostess?
- Vlada Veramirovich: Now if you wish to be Vlada's hostess, you must know who is hot, and who is not. If David Letterman and Regis Philbin want the last table, which one gets it?
- Miranda: Letterman.
- Vlada Veramirovich: Good. DeForest Kelley, or a mangy, yellow dog?
- Miranda: Hmmmm... The dog?
- Vlada Veramirovich: Sorry! They both go out on the loading dock!