The Simpsons (TV Series)

Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield (1996)

Harry Shearer: Montgomery Burns, Lenny, Waylon Smithers

Quotes 

• [Homer and Mr. Burns are playing golf; Homer is in a sand trap] 

  Mr. Burns : For god sakes, man. Use an open-faced club. The sand wedge.

  Homer : Mmmmm... open-faced club sandwich.

• Mr. Burns : Who is that lavatory links man, Smithers?

  Waylon Smithers : Homer Simpson, sir. One of the fork and spoon operators from sector 7-G.

  Mr. Burns : Well, he's certainly got a loose waggle. Perhaps I've finally found a golfer worthy of a match with Monty Burns, eh?

  Waylon Smithers : His waggle is no match for yours, sir. I've never seen you lose a game. Except for that one in '74 when you let Richard Nixon win. That was very kind of you, sir.

  Mr. Burns : Oh, he just looked so forlorn, Smithers, with his

  [imitating Nixon] 

  Mr. Burns : "Oh, I can't go to prison, Monty. They'll eat me alive!"

  [Smithers laughs] 

  Mr. Burns : I wonder if this Homer Nixon is any relation?

  Waylon Smithers : Unlikely, sir. They spell and pronounce their names differently.

  Mr. Burns : Bah! Schedule a game and I'll ask him myself.

• Homer Simpson : Good morning, Mr. Burns. Beautiful day to be outside, isn't it?

  Mr. Burns : Rant on, Simpson, but your vainglorious boasting will only add savor to my inevitable triumph.

  Homer Simpson : [pause]  Yes.

• Mr. Burns : Use the open-faced club! The sandwedge!

  Homer Simpson : Mmm... open-faced club sandwich...