The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart the Mother (1998)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz

Quotes 

• Marge Simpson : Bart, I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do. Your lizards are banned by federal law.

  Bart Simpson : Everyone thinks they're monsters, but I raised them and I love them! I know that's hard to understand.

  Marge Simpson : Mmm. Not as hard as you think.

  [hugs Bart; whispers] 

  Marge Simpson : Run for it.

• Bart : [about Nelson's gun]  Whoa, can I try that sometime?

  Nelson Muntz : Yeah, sure. Never hurts to have a second set of prints on a gun.

  Bart : Wow, thanks, Nelson. I'll come by your house later!

  Marge : Oh, no you won't! You stay away from Nelson Muntz.

  Bart : But Mom!

  Marge : Nelson's a troubled, lonely, sad little boy. He needs to be isolated from everyone.

  Bart : But Mom!

  Marge : Yes?

  Bart : That's all I got.

• Homer : Aw, you look like a little tiny dinosaur.

  [it bites Homer] 

  Homer : YOW! That's one vicious baby bird!

  Lisa Simpson : Dad, they aren't birds.

  Bart Simpson : Sure they are. They came from eggs in a bird's nest, therefore they are birds. Ickso, Fatso.

  Lisa Simpson : One, they don't have beaks. Two, they don't have feathers. And three, THEY ARE LIZARDS!

• Marge Simpson : [upon seeing the bird Bart accidentally killed with Nelson's B-B gun] 

  [gasps] 

  Marge Simpson : Bart! Did you kill that poor bird?

  Bart Simpson : I didn't mean to, Mom. The gun pulled the left...

  Marge Simpson : You disobeyed me, snuck over here and murdered a helpless animal?

  Bart Simpson : I know. I really screwed up. I deserved to be punished.

  Marge Simpson : What's the point, Bart? I punish and I punish, and I punish, but it never sinks in. So you know what? Do what you want. You want to play with little hoodlums? Fine. Have fun killing things.