The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan (TV Series)

Captain Kidd's Doubloons (1972)

Lennie Weinrib: Stanley Chan

Quotes 

• Henry Chan : Stanley, we've got to find a way in there. Now the best... Why are you sitting down?

  Stanley Chan : Because I'm tired, that's why.

  Henry Chan : There's no time to be tired. We got to get old Jeremiah before he hides the doubloons.

  [Stanley is shown to be sitting on a crocodile] 

  Stanley Chan : [panting]  Listen, Henry. I'm not going anyplace, not right now and nothing you can say is gonna make me change my mind.

  Henry Chan : [nervously]  Not even that you're sitting on a crocodile?

  Stanley Chan : Oh, come on, Henry. Heh-heh! That's an old one. If this was a crocodile, it would have a tail like that and a head like this. Now that's a crocodile.

  [notices the crocodile] 

  Stanley Chan : A-A crocodile?

  [runs away] 

  Stanley Chan : RUN!

  Henry Chan : [also runs off]  I AM!

• Stanley Chan : Hippity-hop, another flop.

• Stanley Chan : [disguised as a cowboy]  Hi there, partner. Got any doubloons hangin' around?

  Jeremiah : Young man, that be the worst impression I've ever heard.

  Stanley Chan : Oh, really? Well, h-how about this?

  [Stanley changes his disguise and imitates Jimmy Durante] 

  Stanley Chan : I got a million of'em. Alright, hand over the doubloons.

  Henry Chan : Stanley, will you cut that out?

  Stanley Chan : Don't stop me now, Henry. When you're hot, you're hot.

  Jeremiah : If ya promise you'll quit, I'll give ya three Captain Kidd doubloons.

• Stanley Chan : Henry, besides looking fearless, dashing, and daring, what else do I have in common with this buccaneer statue?

  Henry Chan : You're both dummies.

• [while riding their motorcycle, Henry and Stanley approach an opening drawbridge] 

  Stanley Chan : Henry, the bridge is opening! What are we gonna do?

  Henry Chan : I'll tell you after we do it!

  [Henry and Stanley successfully make it over the bridge, but end up switching places on the motorcycle with Stanley driving] 

  Stanley Chan : Henry, I've got good news and bad news.

  Henry Chan : Give me the good news first.

  Stanley Chan : I can still see Jeremiah up ahead.

  Henry Chan : What's the bad news?

  Stanley Chan : I don't know how to drive a motorcycle!

  Henry Chan : NOW you tell me!

• Henry Chan : [while following Jeremiah]  Let's sneak up on him.

  Stanley Chan : Wait, I've got an idea.

  [steps away] 

  Henry Chan : Stanley, we're wasting time.

  Stanley Chan : [returns in a vampire costume]  There. I'm ready. I'll scare him off guard, you rush him from behind.

  Henry Chan : Scare him? In that outfit? He'll laugh himself silly.

  Stanley Chan : Very funny, very funny.