- Henry Chan: Stanley, we've got to find a way in there. Now the best... Why are you sitting down?
- Stanley Chan: Because I'm tired, that's why.
- Henry Chan: There's no time to be tired. We got to get old Jeremiah before he hides the doubloons.
- [Stanley is shown to be sitting on a crocodile]
- Stanley Chan: [panting] Listen, Henry. I'm not going anyplace, not right now and nothing you can say is gonna make me change my mind.
- Henry Chan: [nervously] Not even that you're sitting on a crocodile?
- Stanley Chan: Oh, come on, Henry. Heh-heh! That's an old one. If this was a crocodile, it would have a tail like that and a head like this. Now that's a crocodile.
- [notices the crocodile]
- Stanley Chan: A-A crocodile?
- [runs away]
- Stanley Chan: RUN!
- Henry Chan: [also runs off] I AM!
- Nancy Chan: [opens a drawer] Hey, look what I've found.
- Flip Chan: [bumps his head on the drawer] Ow! You got the doubloons?
- Nancy Chan: Better. Some biscuits. You want one?
- Flip Chan: Are you for real?
- Stanley Chan: [disguised as a cowboy] Hi there, partner. Got any doubloons hangin' around?
- Jeremiah: Young man, that be the worst impression I've ever heard.
- Stanley Chan: Oh, really? Well, h-how about this?
- [Stanley changes his disguise and imitates Jimmy Durante]
- Stanley Chan: I got a million of'em. Alright, hand over the doubloons.
- Henry Chan: Stanley, will you cut that out?
- Stanley Chan: Don't stop me now, Henry. When you're hot, you're hot.
- Jeremiah: If ya promise you'll quit, I'll give ya three Captain Kidd doubloons.
- Stanley Chan: Henry, besides looking fearless, dashing, and daring, what else do I have in common with this buccaneer statue?
- Henry Chan: You're both dummies.
- [after capturing a police sergeant by mistake]
- Flip Chan: Gee, Pop, I'm sorry.
- Charlie Chan: In the future, Flip, try to remember that the police are the good guys.
- [while riding their motorcycle, Henry and Stanley approach an opening drawbridge]
- Stanley Chan: Henry, the bridge is opening! What are we gonna do?
- Henry Chan: I'll tell you after we do it!
- [Henry and Stanley successfully make it over the bridge, but end up switching places on the motorcycle with Stanley driving]
- Stanley Chan: Henry, I've got good news and bad news.
- Henry Chan: Give me the good news first.
- Stanley Chan: I can still see Jeremiah up ahead.
- Henry Chan: What's the bad news?
- Stanley Chan: I don't know how to drive a motorcycle!
- Henry Chan: NOW you tell me!
- Henry Chan: [while following Jeremiah] Let's sneak up on him.
- Stanley Chan: Wait, I've got an idea.
- [steps away]
- Henry Chan: Stanley, we're wasting time.
- Stanley Chan: [returns in a vampire costume] There. I'm ready. I'll scare him off guard, you rush him from behind.
- Henry Chan: Scare him? In that outfit? He'll laugh himself silly.
- Stanley Chan: Very funny, very funny.
- Alan Chan: [to Barzoni] How did you do that?
- Tom Chan: The gentleman is master prestidigitator.
- Mimi Chan: A presti-what-itator?
- Scooter Chan: He's a magician.