The Comebacks (2007)

Martin Spanjers: Randy Randinger

Quotes 

• Lambeau "Coach" Fields : Randy Randinger!

  Randy Randinger : Here, Coach.

  Lambeau "Coach" Fields : Where?

  Randy Randinger : Right here, sir. I'm ready to give it my all. I'll do whatever it takes to make this team. Refill the waters, get fresh towels... Buff everyone's helmet.

  Lambeau "Coach" Fields : Oh. That helmet. I thought you were talking about something else. Good. We got a towel boy.

• Lambeau Coach Fields : You got a lot of anger, son?

  Jorge Juanson : That's 'cause I'm from somewhere you can't even imagine. The streets.

  Randy Randinger : Dude, you grew up two houses down from me. We lived in the same cul-De-Sac.

  Jorge Juanson : Which is a dead-end street. And no hope of ever getting out. Unless you turn around in this one guy's driveway, and... He didn't like that, so... It became this whole thing.

• Lambeau "Coach" Fields : Take a knee. Listen up. I've been a loser all my life. I came into this world ass first. I was raised as a girl until my walnuts dropped at age 13. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22. That was by accident. I didn't know I was gonna have to pay for it, I thought it was a date. I've destroyed everything I have ever touched. Chased away everyone who has ever loved me. I'm a failure as a husband, a father, a coach, and a human being.

  [Coach Lambeau Fields starts to break down and cry] 

  Randy Randinger : Coach? Isn't this the part where you turn your personal tragedies and shortcomings into a rousing inspirational rally cry?

  Lambeau "Coach" Fields : Huh? Whoa! That's a great idea! You're a real asset to the team!

  Randy Randinger : Thanks, Coach! Does that mean I can play in the second half?

  Lambeau "Coach" Fields : No! Absolutely not!