Family Guy (TV Series)
You May Now Kiss the... Uh... Guy Who Receives (2006)
Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Dr. Elmer Hartman, Jasper, Bill Clinton, Carter Pewterschmidt, Popeye, Karl, Noah, Elizabeth Smart's Dad, Man in Film #1
Photos
Quotes
-
Doctor : Sir I think you should know, these growths on your forearms... they're giant tumors.
Popeye : Habubababa oh dear.
Doctor : Yea I'm surprised you haven't realized this is not how a human being is supposed to look.
Popeye : Habububah.
Doctor : And the speech thing and what your doing with your eye
[sigh]
Doctor : ... uh you had a stroke about seven years ago.
Popeye : Haksinfbusddsububh.
Doctor : That you've managed to be walking around all this time is nothing short of a miracle.
Popeye : Habaubaskbuahsk.
Doctor : I'd say about two months.
-
Stewie Griffin : Hey, McButt the Crime Dog, I heard you and your little chew toy getting it on last night, keep it down.
Jasper : Sorry, little man. Ricardo and I were playing Clue, and he got me in the bedroom with the lead pipe.
-
Peter Griffin : I love having visitors. Except for that time Moby Dick came to stay with us.
[Cut to the Griffin kitchen. Peter and Moby Dick are sitting across from each other]
Moby Dick : Do you have any Raisin Bran?
Peter Griffin : Uh, no. Sorry, we don't.
Moby Dick : Oh. Well, could you maybe get me some?
Peter Griffin : Oh, geez, that's kind of a pain in the... You know, we have Total, and we have some raisins. You could mix them together, that would be kind of like...
Moby Dick : Yeah, it would be like Raisin Bran, but it wouldn't really be Raisin Bran...
Peter Griffin : ...Kinda splittin' hairs here...
Moby Dick : ...Not really doing it for me.
Peter Griffin : What time did you say your flight was again?
-
Jasper : [exiting the terminal into the airport towards the Griffins, speaking effeminately] Hey, cousin!
Brian Griffin : [hugs Jasper] Hey, Jasper!
Jasper : [introducing his Filipino partner, Ricardo] Everybody, this is Ricardo, from the Philippines and my kitchen floor.
Lois Griffin : How was your flight?
Jasper : [effeminate] Oh, torture! 5 hours on my moneymaker, sitting across from a gaggle of sailors flying home on leave: here I am in a committed relationship and all I can think about is having a piece of navy cake!
Jasper : [campily motions talking on a cellphone]
Jasper : Hello, who's that on the phone?-Temptation!... how does he always get my number?... I don't know. Anyway, I've got big news and I'll tell you over dinner: Greek, on me, but enough about last weekend-Oo-hoh, I'm terrible!
-
Jasper : Lois, darling, those earrings are delicious: total kitsch, like an Andy Warhol wet-dream. I'm opening a museum and putting you in it, they're that fabulous!
Stewie Griffin : You think it's clever talking like that, do you? You think it's funny: talking about earrings and using words like 'fabulous' and 'delicious' and 'wet'? Uch!-what's next: a workout followed by a romp around a crowded room whilst the music goes...
[makes the sound of a heavy bass beat similar to dance music, whilst Jasper and Ricardo dance in the background: they look confused when Stewie stops the beat]
Stewie Griffin : ?
Jasper : Oh, why d'you stop?
-
Noah : Hey!
Elephant : Yeah?
Noah : [points to a penguin/elephant hybrid] What the hell is this?
Elephant : Oh, you didn't really give us any specific guidelines about mating.
Noah : Did you name it?
Elephant : What?
Noah : Did you name it?
Elephant : Uh, yeah. He's Paul.
Noah : Yeah? Well, it's gonna be a lot harder for you now, because he's going the fuck overboard!
-
Jasper : [entering terminal with Ricardo, calling to Brian effeminately] Hey, cousin!
Brian Griffin : [hugs Jasper] Hey, Jasper!
Jasper : [motions to Ricardo, his Filipino partner] Everyone, this is Ricardo, from the Philippines and my kitchen floor.
Lois Griffin : How was your flight?
Jasper : [effeminate] Oh, torture! 5 hours on my moneymaker sitting across from a gaggle of sailors flying home on leave: here I am in a committed relationship and all I can think about is having a piece of navy cake!
[makes telephone gesture, speaks camply]
Jasper : Hello, whose that on the phone?-Temptation! How does he always get my number?... I don't know. Anyway, I've got big news and I'll tell you all at dinner. Greek, on me, but enough about last weekend:
[laughs]
Jasper : Ooh hoh, I'm terrible!