- Spider-Man: [dressed as Captain America] Ah, the Skull probably bought this place from Dracula. Or some werewolf.
- Red Skull: Be grateful I allow someone as weak and unsightly as yourself to live, even if it is only to serve me, by inventing ingenious gadgets.
- Dr. Niemann: Yes, Herr Skull.
- J. Jonah Jameson: Why, I can't think of anyone, except maybe that weaselly wall crawler, who wouldn't come out to honor Captain America.
- J. Jonah Jameson: [broadcasting simultaniously on radio and TV] And now we know, that Spider-Man isn't simply a masked criminal, he's also a cowardly turncoat, a sellout and the worst traitor since Benedict Arnold!
- Dr. Niemann: Shall I fetch your weapons, master?
- Red Skull: Yes. But first, comb your hair. Your lack of grooming is intolerable.
- Spider-Man: [facing one of the Red Skull's robots] Let's try that again, Iron Man, Spider-Man style.
- J. Jonah Jameson: You traitor!
- Spider-Man: Huh? Who, me?
- J. Jonah Jameson: It's your fault our great hero was captured by the Red Skull. IN fact, you and that skull-faced cretin are probably partners!
- Betty Brant: I used to think Mr. Jameson was wrong about you, Spider-Man, but now...