Ten Inch Hero (2007)

Peter Dennis: Mr. Julius

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jen : [about Fuzzy]  It's a no-brainer. We *have* to meet.

  Priestly : Right on!

  Piper : And what if he is a woman?

  Jen : We'll find a way to make it work.

  Priestly : Ooh, if that happens, can I watch?

  Tish : What is he's 14?

  Priestly : Ooh, if that happens, can I, uh

  [Holds a glass to his eye] 

  Priestly : videotape?

  Jen : He's driving himself to the meeting point, so he's gotta be at least 16, right? And that's not *that* much younger.

  Trucker : Convicted felon?

  Jen : Well, he's out noe, so it couldn't have been that bad.

  Mr. Julius : Paralyzed?

  Jen : If *he* can deal with that, I sure can.

  Lucille : Ugly as a rhino's ass?

  Jen : Looks are really the least of my worries. I mean, he's a great guy.

  Priestly : Well, what if he's got, like, crazy-ass hair and-and, and more artificial holes in his head than real ones?

  Jen : Well, I could never be that lucky.

  [Priestly smiles] 

• Tish : [Another victim leaves the sbop. She turns around and everyone's staring at her]  Oh, don't even start with me. If men are that easy to out-finesse, they deserve what they get.

  Priestly : Hey, I'm easy. Don't I deserve it?

  Trucker : Well, Priestly, see, your problem is you always go after the hot chicks. You know. you gotta raise your expectations, man.

  Tish : Excuse me?

  Trucker : Well, really good-looking women, they're high maintenance. And without exception, completely worthless between the sheets.

  Priestly : Seriously?

  Trucker : God's truth.

  Mr. Julius : Certainly been my experience.

  Tish : Oh, you guys are pathetic.

  Trucker : All right, take Tish for example, all right? Men are so pumped to be with a body like hers, that all she's gotta do is just lay back and enjoy the ride, you see? That way, she's never gonna develop any skills in bed.

  Mr. Julius : I second that!

  Tish : Hey, I work hard!

  Trucker : Hey, don't get me wrong; attractive women are great to look at, just don't go home with the prom queen. Give her the crown, she'll never go down.

  Tish : I *was* the prom queen.

  Trucker : Well, I rest my case.

  Tish : All right, that's it. You and me, in the office.

  [Puts her hair up] 

  Tish : I'll show you how I earned my crown!

  [Walks toward the office] 

  Trucker : Women!

  [Tish turns around, an understanding scowl on her face] 

  Trucker : They are so easy to out-finesse! They deserve what they get!

  Tish : [Whips a towel at Trucker]  Dicks!

• Trucker : ['Interviewing' Piper]  Okay, uh. Let me think... Elvis, dead or alive?

  Piper : Dead.

  Tish : Andy Kaufman?

  Piper : Dead.

  Trucker : Jerry Garcia?

  Piper : Grateful, and dead.

  Tish : Mariah Carey?

  Piper : Are we talking about her acting career?

  Tish : [Chuckles]  No.

  Piper : Okay, then alive.

  Lucille : Why'd you come to Santa Cruz?

  Piper : I have family here.

  Mr. Julius : Are you a virgin?

  [Everyone groans] 

  Trucker : Mr. Julius!

  Mr. Julius : Sorry, sorry.

  Piper : No... But I used to be.

  Tish : You're not a witch, by any chance?

  Piper : Is that a job requirement?

  Tish : Trucker's blazin' for the woman who owns the crystal store across the street. He thinks she's Wiccan.

  Jen : Yeah, they're soul mates, except she's not exactly aware of it yet.

  Trucker : Okay, everybody! Time to vote!

  [Everyone puts their hands up, including the customers]