Comedy Central Presents (TV Series)

Frank Caliendo (2004)

Frank Caliendo: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Frank Caliendo : I think it's great that we have a President who always looks as if he's staring into the sun.

  [as Bush] 

  Frank Caliendo : Could somebody give me a pair o' sunglasses, 'cause I can't see shit out here.

• Frank Caliendo : My favorite thing about Utah is they don't swear there; they use replacement words. You know what those are? Replacement words? If you don't know what a replacement word is, you ever see a movie on television, doesn't belong on television, because it's got too much swearing in it? So what they do is, take out all the bad words and replace 'em with the most ridiculous word possible. You got all these tough guys runnin' around, tryin' to look tough, but they're sayin' things like "What the FRUIT is going on here?" "Hey shut up, you ICE CREAM!" "What'd you call me? An ICE CREAM?" "You better believe it, you gobble-dampin' fruitin' dumb Sue!" These people don't sound mad, they sound hungry! Give 'em a piece of pie! That's what my mom would say: Every time something went wrong when I was a little kid, every time, there's my mom: "Have a piece of pie. Have a piece of pie, Franky! I think that you should have a piece of paooohoohoohoo..." Apparently, my mom sounded a lot like Adam Sandler.