SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)
Krabby Land/The Camping Episode (2004)
Rodger Bumpass: Squidward Tentacles
Quotes
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[after Squidward is attacked by the Seabear]
Squidward : What did I do that time?
SpongeBob : I don't know, I guess he just doesn't like you!
Patrick : Pretend to be somebody else!
SpongeBob : [tossing Squidward their stick] Here, draw a circle!
Squidward : Okay.
[the Seabear suddenly attacks Squidward yet again]
SpongeBob : That was an oval! It has to be a circle!
Squidward : Move over!
[he jumps into the Anti-Seabear circle; the Seabear growls at Squidward before seeing the circle and threatens him before moving away]
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SpongeBob SquarePants : Seabears are all too real.
[holds up a copy of the Bikini Bottom Inquirer]
SpongeBob SquarePants : It says so in the Bikini Bottom Inquirer.
Squidward : [reading headline on cover] "I Married a Sea Bear"?
Patrick : Yeah! And Fake Science Monthly!
[holds up a copy of Fake Science Monthly]
Squidward : [reading headline] "Sea-Bears and Fairytales Are Real"? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
Patrick : Well, maybe it is stupid, but it's also dumb!
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SpongeBob SquarePants : I guess I'll never know the real meaning of summer. There was a time I thought I knew, but that was a long time ago.
Squidward : You mean this morning?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Yeah.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : He's right, Squidward, Seabears are all too real. Why, once I met this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's *cousin*...
Squidward : YOU'RE RIGHT!
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Squidward : I'm not much of a summer person, SpongeBob.
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Squidward : Why don't you tell me all of the things I shouldn't do if I want to keep the sea bears away?
SpongeBob : Okay, that's easy. First off, don't play the clarinet.
Squidward : Okay, then what?
SpongeBob : Never wave your flashlight back and forth really fast.
Patrick : Flashlights are their natural prey.
Squidward : You're kidding.
SpongeBob : Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge.
Patrick : Yeah.
Squidward : Go on.
SpongeBob : Don't ever eat cheese.
Squidward : Cubed or sliced?
[SpongeBob and Patrick whisper among each other briefly]
SpongeBob : Cubed; sliced is fine.
Squidward : Yeah, yeah, and?
SpongeBob : Never wear a sombrero...
Patrick : In a goofy fashion!
SpongeBob : Or clown shoes.
Patrick : Or a hoop skirt.
SpongeBob : And never...
Patrick : ...ever...
SpongeBob : ...EVER...
SpongeBob , Patrick : ...SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE!
Squidward : Wow! It's amazing how many things can set a sea bear off.
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Squidward : Finally, the weekend is here. And this isn't just any old weekend. This is the weekend SpongeBob and Patrick go camping. You've waited a long time for this.
[suddenly, he hears SpongeBob and Patrick laughing outside]
Squidward : What the...?
[SpongeBob and Patrick are camping out in the yard outside]
Squidward : SpongeBob, aren't you two supposed to be camping?
SpongeBob : We are camping.
Squidward : [gesturing towards SpongeBob's pineapple home a few feet away] SpongeBob, it's not camping if you're ten feet from your house.
SpongeBob : Ah, it doesn't matter where you are as long as you're outdoors. While all those soft city folk are safe in their beds, reading books, we're out here pitting ourselves against the formidable forces of nature.
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[the Seabear attacked Squidward]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Squidward, are you okay?
Squidward : [battered from the attack] No.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Quick, jump inside our anti-Seabear circle before he comes back!
Patrick : Yeah, Seabears often attack more than once!
Squidward : Are you crazy? A dirt circle won't stop that monster! I'm running for my life!
[runs off]
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick : No!
[the Seabear returns and attacks Squidward again]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Don't run! Seabears hate that!
Squidward : Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home, then.
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick : No!
[the Seabear returns yet again and attacks Squidward]
SpongeBob SquarePants : They hate limping more than running!
Squidward : Well, I guess I'll just have...
[the Seabear suddenly returns yet again and attacks Squidward further]
SpongeBob SquarePants : I should have warned you about crawling!
