SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)

No Free Rides/I'm Your Biggest Fanatic (2001)

Tom Kenny: SpongeBob, Mr. SquarePants, Narrator, King Jellyfish

Photos 

Quotes 

• [they are at the jellyfish convention] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Cool state of the art jellyfish nets!

  Patrick : [touches]  Touch.

  Security : Don't touch.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Wow! The harpoon from Jellyfish: The Movie!

  Patrick : [touches]  Touch.

  Security : Don't touch!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Look! Dr. Manowar! The guy who got stung by Big Lenny and lived!

  Dr. Manowar : ...And now it only hurts when you touch it.

  [Patrick touches, doctor screams] 

  Patrick : Touch.

  Security : Do I have to follow you all day?

• SpongeBob SquarePants : Hi, Kevin. I'm your biggest fan.

  Kevin the Sea Cucumber : You're too kind. Security!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : No, wait! I'd do anything for you!

  Kevin the Sea Cucumber : Why don't you go jump off a building.

  [SpongeBob jumps off building, returns] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Anything.

  Kevin the Sea Cucumber : Punch yourself in the face.

  [SpongeBob punches himself with a boxing glove] 

  Kevin the Sea Cucumber : Doesn't that hurt you?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : [Puts on a metal gauntlet with spikes]  Do you want it to hurt me, Kevin?

• SpongeBob SquarePants : Nothing will stop me! Not even...

  [gasps, see a sign saying] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : giant clams?

  [He gets harmed by the clams] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : I'm not letting go, even for...

  [gasps, sees another saying saying] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : cheese graters?

  [he gets shredded by the graters, until he is simply three disembodied yellow lines] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : If you think I'll let go for a little

  [sees the worst sign of all] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : educational television? Oh no!

• SpongeBob SquarePants : Okay, Mrs. Puff. How many points was that?

  Mrs. Poppy Puff : Six.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Whooooo! And how many points do I need to pass?

  Mrs. Poppy Puff : Six.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Whooooo...

  Mrs. Poppy Puff : ...Hundred.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Wha?

  Mrs. Poppy Puff : Six hundred. You need six hundred to pass. You got six.

• SpongeBob SquarePants : Wow! I've never been bait before. I don't believe I've seen a queen jellyfish, either.

  Kevin the Sea Cucumber : Then I bet you've never used a queen jellyfish call before.

  [Gives SpongeBob a whistle; he blows on it and it sounds like "Loser"] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Hey, I've heard this call before.

  Kevin the Sea Cucumber : I'll bet you have.

• SpongeBob SquarePants : Hi, Kevin. I'm your biggest fan.

  Kevin the Sea Cucumber : That's nice. Security!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : No, no! I'll do anything you want!

  Kevin the Sea Cucumber : Go jump off a building.

  [SpongeBob jumps off building, returns] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Anything.

  Kevin the Sea Cucumber : Punch yourself in the face.

  [SpongeBob punches himself with a boxing glove] 

  Kevin the Sea Cucumber : Doesn't that hurt?

  SpongeBob SquarePants : [Puts on a metal gauntlet with spikes]  Do you want it to hurt, Kevin?

• Narrator : Here we are again at the Bikini Bottom Boating School. Today is once again the day of SpongeBob's boating school exam. But more importantly, this is the last test for the year.

  [the boat SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff are in starts to come up towards the Narrator, who panics] 

  Narrator : And if SpongeBob does not pass this one, it means another whole year of boating school!

  [SpongeBob hits the Narrator, who groans in pain] 

• SpongeBob SquarePants : [disguised as the radio]  And now back to K.R.U.D. with all of your personal "You-won't-get-away-with-stealing-my-car" hits.

  [Mrs. Puff screams as SpongeBob pulls himself out of the radio hole and pounces on her] 

• [SpongeBob floats down to his boat and gushes over it] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Hi, Boatie.

  [He rubs his hands down one of the cold metal fenders and gasps] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Boatie, you're cold!

  [He takes off his socks, and places them tenderly on the door] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Take my socks.

  [He throws himself on top of the door] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Oh, Boatie. I'm always gonna take care of you. You're the best boat in the deep blue sea.

  [He kisses the gearshift and sighs dreamily] 

• [Mrs. Puff, who has concealed herself with a ski mask, drives away in SpongeBob's new boat. Unbeknownst to her, SpongeBob is sleeping peacefully beneath her. Finally he wakes up. He opens his eyes and looks at the sky] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Hey, I'm driving!

  [Puzzled, he and Mrs. Puff look at each other and scream. SpongeBob squeezes himself from out underneath Mrs. Puff. The pufferfish drives on] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Who are you and what are you doing with my boat, and why are wearing that ski mask? Because you're not skiing? Oh my gosh, I know who you are!

  Mrs. Poppy Puff : [scared]  No you don't! You don't know who I am!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Yes, I do. I know that you're... a boat-jacker!

  [He gets out a can of pepper spray] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : I never thought I'd have to use this pepper spray.

  [He squeezes the pepper spray, but he points it in the wrong direction by mistake and pepper sprays his own eyes. He squeals in pain] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : SOMEBODY HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME!

  [Mrs. Puff punts SpongeBob out of the boat] 

  Mrs. Poppy Puff : Sorry, SpongeBob, but it was for your own good.

  [She notices to her alarm that SpongeBob is pacing her on a unicycle]