- Fred Flintstone: I still can't figure it out. All the guys I used to know. Close buddies, out every night together, and I told them, "Fellas, my getting married won't change a thing. We'll still chum around together, we'll play cards at my house, my wife will make sandwiches for us. She's a good old Joe. She'll be like one of the gang." What happened? I never hear a word from any of them.You'd think one of them, j-just one of them, would write.
- Wilma Flintstone: From what I saw of that old gang of yours, half of them never learned to write and the other half can't read.
- Grand Poobah: [puts his hat on Fred] Here, friend. Consider yourself the new Exalted Ruler.
- [runs away]
- Woman: After him, girls! He's out in the lobby!
- Woman #2: Let's lynch him!
- Woman #3: Good idea!
- Fred Flintstone: Come on, Barney, let's get out of here.
- Barney Rubble: If they see you with that hat on, you're dead!
- Fred Flintstone: Boy, what a close call. We were lucky to get out of there alive.
- Barney Rubble: Well, what do we do now, Fred? Go home?
- Fred Flintstone: What else?
- [the Grand Poobah's hat is taken off Fred's head and put on Wilma's]
- Betty Rubble: Now hear this, you two Water Buffaloes. Her Highness, your great leader, is going to speak.
- Wilma Flintstone: You two sports are going to take us to a nice hotel where we can enjoy ourselves.
- Betty Rubble: Yeah, and we don't want to cook, wash, or do any dishes. Capiche?
- Barney Rubble: We hear you, O Great Exalted Grand Poobah.
- Fred Flintstone: And we obey, Your Highness.
- Barney Rubble: Yep, if we know what's good for us.
- Betty Rubble: Well, sure, I'd love to go. But Barney and I'd rather pay our own way.
- Wilma Flintstone: This Gus person won't accept any money. He insists it's all on the house for old time's sake.
- Betty Rubble: Well, there's something screwy about a hotel owner who won't take money, but, heh, I guess we have nothing to lose.
- Wilma Flintstone: Nothing... except three days away from housework. No ironing, no cooking, no dishes, no cleaning.
- Betty Rubble: Say no more. Let's start packing!
- [Wilma and Betty, while working as maids, are cleaning up a hotel room]
- Wilma Flintstone: Some vacation. This is what I wanted to get away from, housework.
- Betty Rubble: Well, at least we don't have to do the cooking. Fred's got that department.
- Wilma Flintstone: Speaking of Fred, I've got an idea that Smoothy character planned this whole thing. Fred is so gullible.
- Betty Rubble: Well, we said we'd help. Now we're stuck for three days.
- Wilma Flintstone: Thank goodness there are only four of us.
- [upon hearing car horns, Wilma looks out the window and finds a sea of people entering]
- Betty Rubble: What is it, Wilma? A riot?
- Wilma Flintstone: No, worse. A convention! There must be 200 people pouring into the hotel. Go get Barney, I'll get Fred, we're getting out of here! Betty: Roger!
- Betty Rubble: Roger!
- Wilma Flintstone: Oh, come on, Fred, let's get going.
- Fred Flintstone: We've got to check our list first. Go ahead, Barney.
- Barney Rubble: Dino?
- Fred Flintstone: At the vet's.
- Barney Rubble: Fishing gear?
- Fred Flintstone: Check.
- Barney Rubble: Bowling balls?
- Fred Flintstone: Check.
- Barney Rubble: Ping-pong set?
- Fred Flintstone: Check-a-roony.
- Barney Rubble: Swimsuits?
- Fred Flintstone: Uh, check-a-doodle.
- Barney Rubble: Catcher's mitt?
- Fred Flintstone: Uuuh, check.
- Barney Rubble: Skin-diving gear?
- Fred Flintstone: Check-a-red-check.
- Wilma Flintstone: Fred, we're only going for three days. We're not going to compete in the Olympics.
- Betty Rubble: And I don't want to spend the three days sitting here listening to an inventory.
- Fred Flintstone: Okay, okay, we had to do this so we wouldn't forget anything. Now we're all set. See?
- [notices something]
- Fred Flintstone: Uh-oh.
- Wilma Flintstone: What's the matter, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: I, uh, forgot the car keys.
- Fred Flintstone: Hey, Wilma, this ad is from Gus Gravel.
- Wilma Flintstone: Who is Gus Gravel?
- Fred Flintstone: He's one of the old gang I was just telling you about.
- Wilma Flintstone: He wants to make a touch, huh?
- Fred Flintstone: No, he doesn't. He sent a nice friendly form announcing he's running a hotel at the seashore.
- Wilma Flintstone: Seashore, eh? Well, since you never take me anyplace, there's no chance of running into him... which is good.
- Fred Flintstone: Oh, yeah? Hey, wait a minute, Wilma. Tomorrow starts a three-day weekend. We can go down to Gus's hotel. He... He might give us a rate for old time's sake.
- Wilma Flintstone: I've got no old times with Gus-what's-his-name. I don't even know him. And if he's one of the old gang, I'd just assume keep it that way.
- Gus Gravel: [on the phone] Gravel Hotel, where the surf meets the rocks. Gus Gravel speaking.
- Fred Flintstone: Hiya, Smoothy!
- [turns away]
- Fred Flintstone: We used to call Gus "Smoothy", Wilma.
- Wilma Flintstone: It figures.
- Fred Flintstone: [back on the phone] This is your old pal, Fred.
- Gus Gravel: Fred? Fred who? Oh, Flintstone. Hiya, Lard!
- Fred Flintstone: [off the phone] They used to call me Lard.
- Wilma Flintstone: Why not?
- Gus Gravel: Old Smoothy. I'd forgotten that name, but it fits. I'm still the old Smoothy.
- Wilma Flintstone: Fred, get that goop off your face. We're leaving!
- Fred Flintstone: What do you mean, leaving? We can't let old Smoo down.
- Wilma Flintstone: Well, old Smoo let us down. He booked in a convention and the hotel is full of Loyal Water Buffaloes.
- Fred Flintstone: Aw, Smoothy wouldn't do a thing like that. I've gotta have proof.
- Gus Gravel: Hey, Fred, make 350 dino burgers, 200 with onions, 150 dodo egg sandwiches, 26 cheese omelets, 78 fried chicken livers, 82 tunas on rye, and hurry it up.
- Fred Flintstone: That's proof enough. I quit!