Semi-Pro (2008)

Andy Richter: Bobby Dee

Quotes 

• Cornelius Banks : [to Lou]  You were never in 'Nam, you jive turkey.

  [long silence] 

  Lou Redwood : [coldly]  Did you just call me a jive turkey?

  [Cornelius shakes his head] 

  Jackie Moon : No. No, he did not, he uh... he called you cocksucker. Right Cornelius?

  Cornelius Banks : Yeah, I just called you cocksucker.

  Lou Redwood : Pretty sure you called me a jive turkey.

  Dick Pepperfield : No, no, now Lou, nobody called anyone a J.T.

  Lou Redwood : Jive turkey is a little over the line, my man!

  Jackie Moon : Look. We were all here, we all heard what was said, and we're in agreement, Cornelius said cocksucker. Right?

  Bobby Dee : He just said you suck cock!

  Dick Pepperfield : That's all he said about you!

  Jackie Moon : Come on. Dig into that fondue... little cocksucker.

  [laughs] 

  Lou Redwood : We like playing games, don't we?

  Jackie Moon : It's true, we're playing one right now.

  Lou Redwood : I'm gonna show you guys this game I learned when I was in FUCKIN' NAM!

  [Lou draws his gun and aims it at Cornelius] 

  Lou Redwood : Who's the jive turkey now?

• Jackie Moon : [jokingly aiming an unloaded gun at his head]  I'll see you fuckers in hell.

  [pulls trigger, all laugh] 

  Bobby Dee : [aiming the gun at Jackie]  Jackie, "Love Me Sexy" is the worst song I've ever heard.

  [pulls trigger, all laugh] 

  Cornelius Banks : Watch this.

  Cornelius Banks : [aiming the gun at Lou]  I did call you jive turkey.

  [pulls trigger, all laugh] 

  Dick Pepperfield : [aiming the gun at Lou]  I know you slept with Mrs. Pepperfield!

  [pulls trigger, all laugh] 

  Lou Redwood : [laughing]  We're saying nutty things 'cause they're not true... especially that, more than the rest.

• [Jackie tosses a gun onto the table. The gun fires a bullet. Everyone ducks as the bullet ricochets across the room] 

  Jackie Moon : Everybody okay?

  Bobby Dee : I think so.

  Cornelius Banks : Yeah.

  Jackie Moon : I'm fine.

  Bobby Dee : Wow!

  Dick Pepperfield : We just literally dodged a bullet.

  [laughs] 

  Jackie Moon : [laughing]  We sure did!

  Jackie Moon : [looks at Cornelius]  Except for Cornelius!

  [blood starts coming out of Cornelius' arm cast] 

  Cornelius Banks : [smiling]  Woah! I did get shot!