Stephen Mulhern: Self - Presenter

Quotes 

• Himself - Presenter : Coming up: a lovely bodybuilder, wearing almost nothing at all, agrees to be chained and shackled, then locked in a tank of water. If the magic fails, he drowns.

• Self - Presenter : [Stephen is looking into a fish tank]  I always wonder how the fish manage to hold their breath so long!

  [Camera pulls back to show he's in an aquarium, with a long glass water tank beside him. The lid is open, and there are step ladders in front] 

  Self - Presenter : That gave me the idea for a dangerous big trick.

  [Beside the tank is a bodybuilder in a posing pouch] 

  Self - Presenter : This is Brad, and we're going to see how long he can hold his breath.

  [Brad smiles] 

• Self - Presenter : The first thing we need to do is put these on.

  [Stephen holds up a pair of gleaming steel handcuffs, and Brad holds out his wrists] 

  Self - Presenter : They're part of making sure this is a great trick.

  [Stephen snaps the cuffs into place around Brad's wrists] 

  Self - Presenter : But that's just the start.

  [Two stagehands come out, holding more cuffs and chains] 

  Self - Presenter : I'm going to make sure there's no escape for Brad.

• Self - Presenter : [Metal cuffs and a metal collar are locked around Brad's ankles and neck with padlocks]  Brad, you're not a magician or a magician's assistant?

  [Brad shakes his head. A chain is locked to the ankle cuffs, and being wound around Brad] 

  Self - Presenter : Or an escape artist, trained in escapology?

  [Brad shakes his head again] 

  Self - Presenter : So you have no way to get out of these chains?

  [Another shake of the head] 

  Self - Presenter : And you've still volunteered to let us use your body for this deadly trick?

  [Brad nods] 

  Self - Presenter : Wow, you're brave!

• Self - Presenter : [the camera tracks down Brad's body, pausing on his cuffed hands and posing pouch]  You can see Brad has nowhere to hide the keys!

  [Stephen rests his hand on Brad's shoulder] 

  Self - Presenter : Relax... we're going to put you in the water now, okay?

  [Brad nods. Stephen steps back, and the stagehands take hold of Brad, one taking hold of his ankles, the other his shoulders] 

  Self - Presenter : Lift him up.

  [They lift the chained man, so that they are holding him between them] 

  Self - Presenter : Okay, let's put him inside.

  [Between them, the stagehands carry Brad, climbing the stepladders. They lift him over the open tank, and lower his feet and legs into the water the cuffs and chains weighing them down] 

• Self - Presenter : Just relax. Close your eyes.

  [Brad closes his eyes] 

  Self - Presenter : We're going to put a time on screen so you can see how long he's holding his breath.

  [a digital timer graphic appears on the screen] 

  Self - Presenter : Take one last deep breath, Brad.

  [the bodybuilder does as he's told] 

  Self - Presenter : Put him under, and start the clock!

  [the stagehands release him, the chains quickly causing him to sink to the bottom, sloshing water over the side. They lower the lid of the tank] 

  Self - Presenter : Remember, Brad is wearing almost nothing at all. He's handcuffed, and wrapped in chains. We've placed him inside a sealed water tank, with just one breath of air. And now we're going to lock the tank from the outside.

  [the stagehands fix large padlocks to hasps on the outside of the tank] 

• Self - Presenter : [the camera pans across the tank, focusing in on Brad]  You can see completely underneath the tank, and right through it.

  [the camera is slowly moved around, passing down the foot end of the tank, then right behind it] 

  Self - Presenter : Even if Brad could somehow free himself from his handcuffs, his shackles, the padlocked collar around his neck and the chains wrapped around his bare body, there's no way he can reach those padlocks outside the tank.

  [the camera is lifted up to look down on Brad through the glass lid] 

  Self - Presenter : There's no escape for the lovely Brad from this watery fate.

  [the camera comes back to the front, and Stephen comes to stand by the end] 

  Self - Presenter : His only hope... is magic.

  [Stephen gestures towards the tank, and it rapidly fills with bubbles, hiding Brad from view] 

  Self - Presenter : Brad... GO!

• Self - Presenter : [the bubbles in the tank slowly clear. The chains, shackles, padlocks, and handcuffs lie discarded on the bottom of the tank]  Stop the clock!

  [the timer freezes, and the credits start to run across the bottom of the screen] 

  Self - Presenter : Quickly, open it up.

  [the stagehands unlock the big padlocks on the outside of the tank, and lift the lid. Stephen climbs up, the camera following him, to look down into the tank. There's no trace of Brad] 

  Self - Presenter : He's completely vanished! And wherever he went...

  [Stephen reaches in, and fishes something out: Brad's posing pouch] 

  Self - Presenter : ... he's wearing nothing at all!

  [Smiling, Stephen drops the posing pouch back into the tank] 

  Self - Presenter : That was Brad, and that was my dangerous big trick. I'll see you on the next Tricky TV.