- Rollo Larson: [In the Gab n' Grab Singles Bar] Hey, Cal, Pops. Hey, you fellas out cruisin' for chicks or are you two together?
- Fred G. Sanford: Both. Y'see, Rollo, Cal needs a girlfriend, so Cal is on the prowl for some fowl.
- Fred G. Sanford: [Unfolding a piece of paper Cal accidentally dropped, begins reading it aloud] "To Katie: Roses are red / violets are purple / you're as sweet as maple surple / When we're together my hearts all a'quiver / I love you more than onions and liver / You have made my heart start tickin' / I love you more than the Colonel's chicken." No doubt about who wrote that!
- Fred G. Sanford: I like you. And besides, it's better to watch TV with someone else. And they got some TV on tonight.
- Cal Pettie: Oh, yeah? What's on?
- Fred G. Sanford: A couple of blockbusters. Two blockbusters. The first one is "Gidget Fidgets with a Midget in the Mud." And the co-feature is "Godzilla Eats the Ayotollah."
- Cal Pettie: I wouldn't want to miss that.
- Fred G. Sanford: [Sitting down to watch TV together] Hey, I'll go get you a pie.
- Cal Pettie: No, no, uh-uh. That's the old Cal. This is the new Cal, who is low-cal.