- The Vicar: Mrs Bucket... Bouquet has an extremely powerful voice.
- Richard: Look at the practice it gets.
- The Vicar: How do you manage?
- Richard: It's like the army: you just follow orders; every move is worked out for you, and your meals appear on time.
- The Vicar: They only sign on for twenty years.
- Richard: They're rehearsing 'The Boy Friend'.
- Hyacinth: And you didn't tell me!
- Richard: Hyacinth, we've been married all these years; I've never been able to tell you anything.
- Emmet: No! Tell her I've become allergic to coffee. Tell her I've just gone down with rigor mortis. Tell her I've gone to Greenland. Tell her I've - aah, now, that's a good idea. Why don't I go to Greenland?
- Elizabeth: Well, get the place warm and I'll follow you.
- Emmet: Oh no, it's no good. Even if I got to Greenland, I expect the first Eskimo I came across would be holding candlelight suppers.
- Hyacinth: Poor Daddy. Once he's better we'll have him over. One afternoon. For tea and light refreshments. In the garden. The back garden, of course.
- [last lines]
- Hyacinth: Mind the bus!
- Richard: I think you lost interest in me once you had Sheridan.
- Hyacinth: Oh, don't be silly, dear. How can you say that? Who was it stuck by you when you wanted to join the History Book Club? Who always made sure you had plenty to read?
- Richard: But you don't think that I'm growing more and more attractive, do you?
- Hyacinth: Good heavens, no!
- [laughs]
- Hyacinth: Mind that old lady.
- Richard Bucket: Where was the old lady?
- Hyacinth: Going into that shop.
- Richard Bucket: Did you think I was going to ram-raid the shop?