30 Rock (TV Series)

The C Word (2007)

Tina Fey: Liz Lemon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Liz Lemon : We need to fire Lutz.

  Pete Hornberger : What? Why? What happened?

  Liz Lemon : He called me the worst name ever.

  Frank Rossitano : What did he call you?

  Liz Lemon : I'm not gonna repeat it. That's how much I hate it.

  Pete Hornberger : Fat can?

  Liz Lemon : No.

  Frank Rossitano : Mouth hooker?

  Liz Lemon : No.

  Frank Rossitano : Monster bitch.

  Pete Hornberger : Hatchet face.

  Liz Lemon : No!

• Liz Lemon : [bursts into Jack's office]  Oh, hey - false alarm! It turns out she *asked* him to take it out.

• Jack Donaghy : Liz, all the VPs will be angling to golf with Don Geiss, but my partner will be Tracy Jordan, his grandchildren's favorite movie star. Geiss will absolutely choose us, and that's a big deal because being in a foursome with this man can change your life.

  Liz Lemon : You might want to rephrase that.

• [Liz comes upon Greta's box of kittens] 

  Liz Lemon : [excitedly]  Look at these guys!

  Greta Johanssen : Yeah, they like you! They're very good at sensing debilitating loneliness in a person.

• Pete Hornberger : You're just in reaction right now. You need to just take a few hours and calm down.

  Liz Lemon : Don't tell me to calm down, you fungdark.

  Pete Hornberger : Yeah, you're right; it doesn't work.

• Pete Hornberger : Oh, I get it. You're trying to be nice now 'cause of what Lutz said.

  Liz Lemon : No, I'm not trying to be nice. I *am* nice. I'm a nice person, you bald, gangly -

  [clears throat] 

  Liz Lemon : [pleasantly]  I'm gonna try harder. I'm gonna try to be nice.

• [Toofer's cell phone rings] 

  Toofer : Oh, oh, I'm so sorry, Liz; I'm so sorry. I thought I turned it off.

  Liz Lemon : No, Toofer, take the call. Come on; this isn't Hitler's bunker. That would make me Hitler!

  [everyone looks] 

  Liz Lemon : What? This is the new me. Do you like the new me? And before you answer, Super Balls!

• Liz Lemon : Hey everybody, look! Sherlock Homo is here to solve the case of the gay sweater!

• [discussing the word Lutz called Liz] 

  Pete Hornberger : Well, you know, he was probably just blowing off steam. You can't fire a guy for cursing.

  Liz Lemon : No, I - I'm not upset by cursing. I *love* cursing. I love it! But this word is not acceptable - no - because there's nothing you can call a guy back. There is no male equivalent to this word.

  Pete Hornberger : Well, why don't we come up with one, and then you can call him that? Like, um, "muncus."

  Frank Rossitano : "Fungdark."

• [discussing the word Lutz called Liz] 

  Liz Lemon : The one that rhymes with the name of your favorite Todd Rundgren album.

  Frank Rossitano : It rhymes with "Hermit of Mink Hollow"?

  Liz Lemon : No!

  Pete Hornberger : Oh! Oh, boy.

• Liz Lemon : [after flashbacks]  Oh, my God, I am! I'm a total...

  Greta Johanssen : Runt! Runt! I lost my kitten. Has anyone seen my runt?

• Liz Lemon : Hey, Frank, wake up! You're not allowed to sleep through the topical meeting.