How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Single Stamina (2006)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Quotes 

• Ted : Barney and his brother aren't exactly alike.

  Lily : James is gay.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Really?

  [to Barney] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : Never in a million years would I picture you with a gay brother; that's awesome!

  Ted : Yeah, we just wanted you to have a heads-up so you don't act all surprised when he gets here.

  [Barney's black brother enters the apartment] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : [sarcastic]  Thanks for the heads-up.

• Robin Scherbatsky : How come it never came up that Barney has a gay black brother?

  Ted : Is he black? I guess I'm the kind of person that focuses on what's inside a person rather than the color of their skin. I'm just kidding. I just wanted to see the look on your face.

• Barney : OK, here's my thing - if gay guys start getting married, then suddenly the whole world's gonna be doing it. That's how it works: they start something, then six months later, everyone follows. Like... now everyone gets manicures.

  Ted : Yeah... I don't get manicures.

  Barney : OK, then, like, how... like getting your chest waxed.

  Lily : [gasping]  Oh! You get your chest waxed?

  Barney : [annoyed]  You know what I mean!

  [back on topic] 

  Barney : Gay marriage is going to cause single life as we know it to die out.

  [in despair] 

  Barney : Think of how the American family will be strengthened!

• Ted : Can't two straight guys go into a gay bar and enjoy some techno and conversation without being hit on?

• Older Ted : In the winter of 2006, Marshall, Lily, Robin and I were all deep in couple hibernation mode. Sadly, this left Uncle Barney out in the cold.

  Barney : [Entering the apartment]  Okay. All-night rave, abandoned tire factory in Newark. We're on the list. Who's in?

  Ted : Nope.

  Robin Scherbatsky : No.

  Barney : [Another time]  Private jet. Teeterboro Airport, skinny-skydiving. Who's in?

  Ted : Nope.

  Lily , Robin Scherbatsky , Marshall Eriksen : No, thanks.

  Barney : [And again]  One beer. Bar, downstairs, 15 second walk. Who's in?

  Marshall Eriksen : Shh... Lily went sleepy-bye.