Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)
Rainn Wilson: Gallaxhar
Photos
Quotes
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Gallaxhar : Humans of Earth, I come in peace. You need not fear me, I mean you no harm. However, it is important to note that most of you will not survive the next 24 hours. The few of you that do survive will be enslaved and experimented upon. You should, in no way, take any of this personally. It's just business. So to recap, I come in peace, I mean you no harm, and you all will die. Gallaxhar out.
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[Susan wakes up on board Gallaxhar's spaceship in a containment cell]
Gallaxhar : [enters on a personal hovercraft] You must be terrified. You wake up in a strange place, wearing strange clothes, imprisoned by a strange being floating on a strange hovering device. Strange, isn't it?
Susan Murphy : Hardly. It's not the first time.
Gallaxhar : [deflated] Wow. You really get around.
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The Missing Link : Halt! I, Gallaxhar, command you to hand over the prisoner this instant.
Gallaxhar clone : Clearly you are defective beyond repair. Guards, take this defective clone to the incinerator!
[pause]
Gallaxhar clone : Well, what're you waiting for? You, and you!
[points at B.O.B and Dr. Cockroach]
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : Seriously?
Gallaxhar clone : Yes. Take the prisoner and the defective clone to the incinerator.
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : Uh, of course, sir.
Gallaxhar clone : And here's a security pass, just in case.
[he offers a laser gun to B.O.B]
Gallaxhar clone : Would you like a gun?
B.O.B. : Yes, I would. Hey, guys, look.
[gun goes off and hits clone]
The Missing Link : Okay...
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Gallaxhar : [after his plot to invade Earth has been completely foiled] Oh... Spaceballs!
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Computer : Begin reanimation sequence.
Gallaxhar : Who dares to wake me?
Computer : Quantonium has been located on a distant planet in the Omega quadrant.
Gallaxhar : The Omega quandrant? Lame.
Computer : The trajectory of the quantonium meteor has been traced to sector 72-4, a planet locally known as Earth.
Gallaxhar : What a miserable-looking mudball. Send a robot probe. Extract the quantonium with extreme prejudice. I want it all. Every last drop.
Computer : Yes, Gallaxhar.
Gallaxhar : Nothing can stand in my way now.
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Gallaxhar : Finally, I can rebuild my civilization on a new planet. Any thoughts on where I should set up shop? Your planet, perhaps?
Susan Murphy : You keep your slimy tentacles off my planet...
Gallaxhar : [grabs Susan with one of his tentacles] If you wanted to stop me, you should have done it when you possessed the quantonium. Now you're nothing.
Susan Murphy : There're innocent people down there, who didn't do anything!
Gallaxhar : [throws Susan down to the ground] There were innocent people on my home planet, before it was destroyed.
Susan Murphy : Look, I'm sorry your planet was destroyed.
Gallaxhar : Oh, don't be. I'm the one who destroyed it. Confused? After I reveal my tale to you, everything will become crystal clear. Computer, initialize cloning machine!
Computer : Yes, Gallaxhar.
[Gallaxhar gets on the machine]
Gallaxhar : Many zentons ago, when I was but a squidling, I found out my parents were...
[machine closes; after a moment, it opens again]
Gallaxhar : No child should ever have to endure that! So I went on the road, with a giant...
[machine closes and opens again]
Gallaxhar : ...and soon thereafter was married! Things were going well, until she wanted to...
[machine closes and opens again]
Gallaxhar : ...and then I was all "no way!", and she was all "yes way!", and I was like...
[machine closes and opens again]
Gallaxhar : But I've told you too much already. Let the birth of my new planet, now called... Gallaxhar's Planet, begin!
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Gallaxhar : Are you crazy? You could have killed me!
Susan Murphy : Then we understand each other. Now open the doors and let my friends go.
Gallaxhar : Or what? You don't actually think you're a match for me, do you?
Computer : Quantonium has been successfully diverted to the bridge. Escape capsule ready for transport.
Gallaxhar : Like I told you before, you should have defeated me when you had the quantonium. Have fun exploding.
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Gallaxhar : Attention all aliens: Destroy All Monsters!
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Susan Murphy : [aims weapon at Gallaxhar] Now open the doors!
Gallaxhar : Even if I wanted to, I couldn't ! That's what happens when you set a ship to self-destruct! Now we're all gonna die! And there's nothing you can do about it, Suuusan.
Susan Murphy : I wouldn't be so sure. And the name is Ginormica.
[fires weapon into radiation container, letting it fall on her]
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Gallaxhar : To the extraction chamber!
Susan Murphy : Look, what is it that you want from me?
Gallaxhar : You have stolen what is rightfully mine.
Susan Murphy : I didn't steal anything from you.
Gallaxhar : Your enormous, grotesque body contains quantonium, the most powerful substance in the universe. Did you really think you could keep it from me?
Susan Murphy : That's what this is all about? You destroyed San Francisco, you, you terrified millions of people? You killed my friend just to get to me?
Gallaxhar : Ya-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka! Silence. Your voice is grating on my ear nubs. It's a shame you won't be around to see what the power of quantonium can do in the tentacles of someone who knows how to use it.
Susan Murphy : I know how to use it, just fine!
[she punches against the force field]
Gallaxhar : Don't bother. That forcefield is impenetra...
[suddenly, Susan punches through the force field and nearly knocks Gallaxhar off his hovercraft]
Gallaxhar : Oh! What the flagnon!
