South Park (TV Series)

Go God Go XII (2006)

Matt Stone: Kyle Broflovski, Otter #1, A.A.L. #1, K-10, U.A.L. #3, Boy in Commerical #2, Store Person, Otters, PrankCall Boy #1, Otter #3, Butters, KIT-9, KOK-A-3

Quotes 

• [Cartman tries calling Butters to stop his past self from freezing again, when his past self appears again] 

  Past Cartman : Butters? Come on, we gotta go!

  Cartman : [hearing his past self]  No! Don't listen to me! Tell me to go screw myself!

  Butters : [confused]  Huh?

  Past Cartman : Come on, Butters, it's gonna get dark!

  Butters : But you're telling me not to go with you.

  Past Cartman : [surprised]  *What?*

  [enters the kitchen to talk to his future self] 

  Past Cartman : [shouts]  Who the fuck is this?

  Cartman : [shouts]  Aw, dammit, just listen to me! If you freeze yourself, you're going to die!

  Past Cartman : Suck my balls!

  Cartman : No, *you* suck my balls! Just listen to me for one minute!

  Past Cartman : [pause]  Okay, you have one minute.

  Cartman : Right before you left for Butters' house, you drank a bunch of Ovaltine and put Clyde Frog in the closet so nothing would happen to him, right?

  Past Cartman : [shocked]  Are you spying on me?

  Cartman : [shouts]  No, I *am* you, you stupid asshole!

  Past Cartman : [shouts]  Fuck you, asshole! You can go fuck yourself!

  [hangs up the phone and puts his hood back on] 

  Past Cartman : Come on, Butters, we're going!

  Butters : Oh, all right then.

  Cartman : [in the future, frustrated]  God, I hate that guy!

• [the phone rings in Kyle's house, and Kyle goes to answer it] 

  Kyle : Hello?

  [he gets static until...] 

  Cartman : [voice from the future]  Hello? Kyle?

  Kyle : Hello?

  Cartman : Yes. Hello, Kyle. It's Eric. Uh, how's it going?

  Kyle : [angry]  What do you want?

  Cartman : Kyle, you are the smartest guy I know, so I think maybe you're the only person who can understand this. You know how earlier today I asked you to help me freeze myself?

  Kyle : I'm not gonna help you freeze yourself, Cartman! It's a stupid idea!

  Cartman : No, see, I *know* it's a stupid idea. Because I actually did freeze myself and... you were right, Kyle. It backfired and I was frozen for 500 years, and now I'm calling you from the future.

  Kyle : [with half-closed eyes]  ... Uh huh.

  Cartman : No, really, Kyle, I'm, I'm seriously. Here, talk to my robot dog.

  [backs up to hand the phone to K-10] 

  K-10 : Bark bark. Hello, Kyle. Bark bark.

  Kyle : [pause]  I'm hanging up now.

  Cartman : [shouts]  No, Kyle, listen! Please! I think right about now, I'm in my mom's freezer.

  Kyle : Suck my balls, fatass!

  Cartman : [pause]  I will. I will suck your balls, Kyle. Just stop me from freezing myself, and I will get down on my knees, and I will suck your balls. I'll suck 'em dry, Kyle.

  [a car honks its horn, and Kyle looks over as it leaves] 

  Kyle : [shouts]  Aw, goddammit, now you've made me miss my ride! My whole day is screwed up because of you!

  [he hangs up the phone]