Quotes
Bullseye Bullwinkle or Destination Moose/Squeeze Play or Invitation to the Trance
The Bullwinkle Show
- [Bullwinkle is hypnotized]
- Boris Badenov: [disguised as Swami Ben Boris, hypnotist] At last the formula will be mine! Now, Mr. Moose, tell me everything you know.
- Narrator: So Bullwinkle told them everything he knew. All about his early days in the Minnesota woods; his days at the Philpott School for Exceptional Children, and he *was* exceptional, being the only student with antlers; his experiences in the army, where he served three years as a hat rack in the officers' club... On and on he went without stopping, for twelve hours. But, true to their promise, Boris and Natasha didn't hear a word. The steady drone had long since sent them to dreamland. Unfortunately, it had done the same thing to Rocky. And so, when Bullwinkle finally got to Grandma's recipe, the only people who heard it weren't people at all, but the two moon men.
- [Rocky and Bullwinkle see the moon men, Gidney and Cloyd]
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: What are they, Rocky?
- Rocket J. Squirrel: I don't know. I've never seen anything like 'em.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Maybe they're congressmen.
- Gidney: We lead such a quiet life on the moon. Take a look at what we had to go through just to prepare for a visit here.
- Cloyd: Yeah. We had to practice dodging traffic.
- Gidney: And listening to jukeboxes.
- Cloyd: And filling out forms.
- Gidney: And breathing smog.
- Cloyd: And riding on subways.
- Gidney: And regular bathing.
- Cloyd: It was awful!
- Narrator: And if that weren't bad enough, when the boys were on their way home, the two spies, Boris and Natasha, received their latest instructions.
- Boris Badenov: Don't tell me. Let me guess. I'll bet it says, "Keel Moose", right?
- Natasha Fatale: [reading the secret instructions as they are revealed] Right.
- Boris Badenov: Okay!
- [Boris cuts a rope, dropping a safe out a hotel window toward an unsuspecting Bullwinkle and Rocky below]
- Natasha Fatale: ...But in front are two more words: "Do Not".
- Boris Badenov: [reading the full message] "Do Not Keel Moose"... Oh, Boris, you impetuous boy. What have you done?
- Natasha Fatale: Better yet, what will you do?
- Boris Badenov: Save him! I've got to save him!
- [Boris rushes down several flights of stairs as the safe continues to fall]
- Narrator: Boris raced to beat the heavy safe to the ground, and he won!
- [the safe lands on top of Boris just outside the hotel entrance, driving him into the ground with a crash]
- Narrator: ...Almost. The heavy safe drove him into the ground like a tent stake! Bullwinkle's keen mind knew instantly what had happened.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Hey, up there! You dropped your safe!
- Narrator: In the next few days, our boys worked like demons. Measuring, sifting, rolling, baking. And the results were tremendous! Seven-layer cheesecakes, hot fudge strudel, an acre of cinnamon pizzas, and two hundred pounds of peanut brittle! Unfortunately, none of it would explode.
- Rocket J. Squirrel: We'll get the world's greatest hypnotist to come here and...
- [There's a knock at the door]
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Who is it?
- [the door opens to reveal Boris and Natasha in disguise]
- Boris Badenov: It is I, Swami Ben Boris, world's greatest hypnotist.
- [pointing to Natasha]
- Boris Badenov: This is my assistant.
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Haven't we met before?
- Boris Badenov: Were you ever in Cairo?
- Rocket J. Squirrel: No...
- Boris Badenov: Well, that's it, then! Neither was I.
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Golly, Bullwinkle. People are depending on us. The world's waiting for our discovery. That recipe is locked in your brain, somewheres.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: It is?
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Yup. All we gotta do is figure out how to get it out. Hey, I've got it! Hypnosis!
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Hyp-who-sis?
- Rocket J. Squirrel: You'll be hypnotized, and while you're asleep you'll tell us the recipe.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: I'm gonna talk in my sleep?
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Yup.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Swell! Usually I just snore.
- Natasha Fatale: Boris, darling, you're alive!
- Boris Badenov: [having been crushed by a safe] This is living?